Ten Things

Ch.30-Before I Die

Grace

I've always had trouble sleeping, ever since I was little. I have prescription sleeping pills to get me through really bad nights, but I don't like to take them because they have weird effects on my body.

The glowing green numbers told me it was three-forty-five in the morning. Great. Another long night ahead of me, then.

I threw my legs out of my bed, whipping back the covers. I could see snow falling out my window. I loved the snow. It was quiet and still and beautiful. It didn't intrude or cause noise; it was just there.

I had changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt a little bit after Cole had left. I pulled a robe on and cinched the tie tight around my waist, combing my fingers through my hair so it covered my neck and provided a shield against the drafts. At times like this I usually made some tea and sat by myself at the table, contemplating my thoughts.

I opened my door a crack and slipped out, padding noiselessly across the floorboards to the kitchen. I flicked on the light and moved through the motions, getting a tea bag, filling a mug with hot water, stirring it up. I was already lost in my thoughts, so much I didn't hear anybody approach behind me.

"Grace?"

I jumped, nearly knocking over the cup. I whirled around. "Cole?" I questioned in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. He was wearing the same clothes from earlier tonight, though they were slightly rumpled. His hair was an adorable disheveled mess. "Your parents let me stay over," he explained, moving toward me. "The roads were blocked off."

"Oh." I looked down at the swirling earthy colors of the liquid, playing with the string of the tea bag. "The couch isn't too uncomfortable, is it?"

He chuckled. "It's perfectly fine." He walked up beside me. I felt his fingers brush hair behind my ear. I stiffened, but forced myself to relax. You're giving him a chance, remember, I reminded myself. Quit making things harder than they need to be.

I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. I liked the way his fingers felt against my skin.

"What are you doing up?" he asked.

"Couldn't sleep," I replied. "With all the medication I've taken in the past, it's given me sleep trouble. It happens a lot."

He frowned. "Should I be worried?"

I shook my head and took a small sip of tea. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"Doesn't what bother me?"

I skimmed my fingers along the rim of the mug. "That I have cancer."

"Grace, Grace, Grace," he sighed taking my tea from my hands and setting it aside. "Are you really going to make me relive all that time I was an asshole to you?"

I looked up at him. He was so handsome, even with the fresh-out-of-bed look. I didn't understand why he wanted me, or why he was trying so hard, but I was done questioning it. Because the fact was I wanted him too, and I had never wanted anybody before. Everything was new and exciting and I wanted to discover it.

"I don't care," he murmured sincerely, backing me up against the counter and caging me in with his hands resting on the counter on either side of me. "Not anymore. I know my behavior was unforgiveable but I'm figuring out a lot of things too, Grace."

"Like what?" I breathed, heart hammering a thousand miles an hour against my ribs.

"Like how to convince a certain blue-eyed girl that I'm not going to leave her alone in the bed."