It's a dark and cold night, and I'm here, lying down on my bed. I lift my hand up, looking at the back of it. I turned my hand and looked at my palm, exhaling slightly of when I remembered the warmth it had received back then.
There are times in peoples lives when you are literally just so happy that you seemed to forget all of the problems and all of the wrongdoings in your life. But, those moments can be, so easily, gone in a blink of an eye.
That happened to the both of us.
We were both the best of friends. Everyday, we hung out together. We would laugh and enjoy ourselves as time would pass by. And as cheesy as it sounds, I fell in love with him, he fell in love with me. We both confessed to each other, and we continued our days as a couple.
And in just one day, everything became out of hand and it felt like the entire world was tearing me apart.
He suddenly confronted me, a stoic look on his face. I tell him what's wrong, and he just responds with a scoff, and he tells me to go away.
I looked at him, wide-eyed and shocked to the core of my body. This was just a prank. He wouldn't mean it, right?
But no, he meant it. He was serious. Very serious.
I ask him why, what particular reason on why he wants me to go away. But, he replied with a loud growl, and he yells at my face to just shut up and get out of his way.
Tears built upon my eyes. I began sobbing. My shoulders began hopping up and down from the hiccups. He just stared, boring his furious eyes into my soul. I grit my teeth, covering my eyes with my palm.
I bowed my head, removing my hand from my face, and I intertwined my fingers, telling him that I was sorry, and that I would leave him alone now. He just crossed his arms, giving me a look that he doesn't need my apology and I should get lost.
I turned my back from him, and I started walking away from him. But, I soon started running quickly. Tears came down in an instant, roughly wiping my tears with my sleeve.
I ran and ran until I came across town. The streets were more busier, and it was crowded. However, I didn't stop. I couldn't stop.
That is, until my stamina ran out and I had to take a break. I leaned myself on the concrete wall, looking up at the gray sky. I slid my back down, moving into a crouching position as I sat down on the ground. I buried my head under my arms, soft and silent cries emitting out of my mouth. People started whispering at each other about me as I sat there.
That was 2 years ago.
And here I am now, facing the dull white ceiling, still desperate for my best friends love.
I let out a deep exhale, the beautiful moments we shared swarming inside my head.
I remembered that you always liked taking me out on enjoyable dates, whether it'd be on the amusement park, or on a restaurant, or even just going around the mall.
We would hold hands as we walk around, you constantly stirring up conversations while I would wholeheartedly listen to your words, laughing even when you remarked something funny to me.
We also would feed each other whenever we had food brought with us, or when we are out eating in a restaurant or a pastry shop. We fed each other, our faces getting messy because of how careless we would handle our food. But, that didn't matter to us.
I closed my eyes.
I remember too, is when we would go to the secluded park that you really visited quite often when you were still a child. We would sit on the grass, looking up at the sky as we commented on how beautiful its soothing blue color looked.
You would be lying on the grass, while I was the one that sat up, and we would talk in that position, frequently asking me to give you a quick peck in the lips at least in every 5 minutes.
I would be standing up, ushering you to go together with me as I would be roaming around the place. You would shake your head as a no and I would pout, turning my back against you, playfully saying that I'll just go by myself, only for you to come at my direction and turn me around to lift me up and spin ourselves around. We would be a bundle of laughing stocks as we did that.
A tear escapes my eye.
But most of all, the moment we both shared that I cherished the most was when we would be on the bed, either morning or evening, just wrapped up in blankets as we snuggled. No disturbance would occur, no noise was being heard except our soft sounding conversations and laughs.
You would caress my hair, telling me of how soft my hair was, of how beautiful my milky white skin looked when it would be reflected by the suns rays, of how cute my bunny smile was, and how my giggles sounded like music to him.
I would smile and peck your lips as my gratitude, and you would just smile back, kissing my forehead softly before you would hug me tighter.
I would place my head onto your broad and chiseled chest, satisfyingly hearing your heart beat in a calm and rhythmic pace.
And we would just act like that everyday.
But, like I said, all those were gone in a snap of a finger, without any concrete reason why. I wanted to ask him why, but I guess I'll never grow enough guts to justify what he did.
"What did I do?" "Did I do a deed that seemed so unappealing to his eyes?" "Or more importantly, did he find another person that suited him more than I did?"
More and more messed up thoughts rambled on my head as I turned to my side, holding the white blanket between my slender fingers. I softly rubbed it, my sight blurring due to the immense amount of tears my eyes held at this moment.
Baby, I'm sorry if I wasn't good enough for you,
I shut my eyes tight, the liquid pouring down on my cheeks in a fast pace.
But please, I still love you.
I clutched my head, gritting my teeth as I roughly gripped my hair strands.
I miss on how you held me tight in your embrace, I miss your warmth, I miss your smile, I miss your voice, I miss your kisses, I miss everything.
I opened my mouth to let out a wail of frustration, the noise echoing all throughout the room.
Please, Taehyung,
I want you back.
-A/N-
i really need to stop ending my oneshots in italics do i.
and i should consider to rename this as 'vkook angst collection'
oh well.
eh
at least i should be happy that i can update more in may
but entrance exams mate--
ugh
(would you like a part two in taehyung's perspective? ouo)
-Silhouette
