Voldemort, Bitches!

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We need to take Edward and Bella and feed them to Voldemort!

Voldemort: You bring news, Severus?

Snape: The instructions say to cook at 325 F for 5 1/2 until done

Bellatrix: My Lord, I would like to nominate myself for this task

Voldemort: I must be the one to carve the turkey

Official Nose Size Scale:

|----------|----------|----------|----------|----------|----------|-----------|----------|----------|

^Lord Voldemort                            ^ Average                                                        ^ Nigel Thornberry

Team Edward? No

Team Jacob? Nuh uh

Team Voldemort? HELL YEAH!

Leading Hand sanitizers claim to kill 99.9% Of germs

Lord Voldemort can kill 100% of whatever the fuck he wants!

Except Harry!

Thats 99%

Therefore: Voldemort is a hand sanitizer

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