Chapter 10 - The Master Of Disguise

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Tom explained to us that he figured that going undercover at a funeral was potentially one of the easiest things that anyone could do. His reasoning was simple. Everyone was dressed the same, all the men wore black suits and all the women wore black dresses. If it was raining, people all carried black umbrellas, if it was sunny they all wore dark sunglasses. Better yet, we'd all seen at the funerals that we'd hosted that not every guest knew each other. For example, if I died tomorrow (Please god don't do that to me) then my mom would certainly go to the funeral service. But she wouldn't know Tom. Or if Naomi went, she wouldn't know Steve. My dad wouldn't know Aaron. My brother wouldn't know anyone because he's a social recluse.

It was brilliant! At least in theory anyway.

"Say this somehow works" Aaron spoke, trying to wrap his head around this strange plan. "What are you going to get out of it? Like, what you hope to find out? There's only so much that people crying can tell you"

"Oh you simpletons" Tom sniggered. "Because I'll be hiding in plain sight, no one will even notice that I've gone. I'll go digging for dirt on Goldstein and see if I can find a way in to set up our master plan".

"Why do you get to be the spy?" I asked jealously.

"Because I'm the only one stupid enough to try this" He replied, getting zero arguments from me or Aaron.

So the plan was set! Tom had gone to as much effort as to check when Christian's next funeral was. The bastard was hosting one every day of the week! So we asked Steve if we could take a couple of hours off. Tom fed him some random excuse but I think that he would've let us take time off anyway. Steve was still giving me the impression that he wasn't that fussed about anything at the moment.

Per Tom's instructions, I was the getaway driver in my stupid minivan, Aaron was the muscle in case we ran into trouble or gut busted, and Tom himself was our very own secret agent. He was like Austin Powers but without the weird accent.

The funeral was being held at Christian's second parlour, which meant that the drive took us around half an hour in traffic. It would seem that this was the first of his funeral homes that we were going to try and take down.

It was a rainy day so Tom took his umbrella and joined the flock of black sheep in the procession. Because it was Tom he was wearing sunglasses too. He claimed that he was just being over-prepared but we both thought he was just being a dufus.

"You think this is actually going to work?" I asked Aaron as we watched from the two front seats.

"Every fibre of my being tells me no" He sighed. "But its Tom and he always seems to find ways to surprise me so we'll see"

The first part of Tom's plan worked a charm. Once he got into the heart of the crowd, we couldn't see him anymore. He blended in perfectly, and he was probably doing even better because he was used to being at these sorts of services. He knew how people felt at them and how they acted. I couldn't believe I was thinking it, but this plan was actually a stroke of genius.

The second part was certainly going to be a lot trickier though. He had to somehow sneak away from everyone else and find a way into Christian's office. There, he would search for some sort of incriminating evidence or any clues as to how we were going to slow his takeover down.

In all honesty I hoped that just this one thing would be enough to get us back on track. I wasn't sure if doing a stakeout at a funeral was illegal or not (perhaps you can tell me when we inevitably get arrested) but I was really nervous about meddling in someone like Christian's affairs. He may have looked like a rat but he seemed to be a shark in business. And maybe a bear in a fight.

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