6 / revelations

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For eighteen years, Maddie had had a photo of her and her mother on her bedroom wall. It had been there so long that she no longer noticed it any more, giving no thought to her lack of memories with the woman above her desk, but as she drove back to town from her aunt's house, that picture was all she could think about. It was probably the last photo that had ever been taken of the two of them, her tired mother grinning for the camera, and it helped to remind Maddie that she had been a living, breathing person, more than just a collection of second-hand memories.

The eighteen-year-old letter was tucked inside the pages of a book her bag after Hye-eun had recommended that she keep it for when she had time to sit down and read. Ordinarily she had all the time in the world but the next hour or more would be devoted to Posy, time that she could use to figure out where she stood with Peter. Posy was the perfect sounding board, absorbing every little panic of Maddie's and churning out a solution or, failing that, consolation.

Within ten minutes of leaving Hye-eun's house, Maddie was back at the car park she had started in, several minutes before Posy was due to turn up. Several minutes wasn't enough time to give the letter any decent attention so she stuck a ticket in the window and headed for the nearest coffee shop. With hardly any queue, she bought herself a flat white and an iced latte for Posy, who never drank anything else, and grabbed a sofa in the window.

After less than a minute, her hand found its way into her bag and sought out the letter from within her book, tracing her thumb over the perfect cursive of her mother's script. So Peter wasn't the only one who called her Madeleine: her mother had too, just too long ago for her to remember hearing the word. The lump in her throat hardened, lodged in her gullet no matter how hard she tried to swallow it down with her hot coffee. Whatever the letter contained, her mother had made sure she knew nothing of it for eighteen years, and it was that thought that stopped her from opening the envelope right there and then.

"Hey, Mads."

Maddie looked up to see Posy standing right in front of her, a bright grin lighting up her face, and she snapped into action.

"Hey, Posy," she said, standing to hug her friend and realising that a hug was what she needed right now. Everything in her head was churning and she couldn't quite see straight.

"So, do I really have to ask?" Posy bugged her eyes as she sat down beside Maddie with a thud and twisted to the side, pulling one leg up onto the sofa. "How did it go? Did you guys go through with it?"

Heat rushed to Maddie's cheeks and she nodded, and Posy's hand flew to her mouth to quieten her squeal.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "Oh my God. You did? You did it? How the fuck was it?"

"It was ..." Maddie thought for a moment, hundreds of adjectives racing through her mind. "It was good. Really good." She ignored the way her cheeks burned and once she had established that there was no-one too close, she continued. "I mean, I'm a bit worried that masturbation won't be so fun anymore."

"Shit. So it was that good." Posy sipped her latte, slowly shaking her head. "So you didn't have any ... issues?"

"What kind of issues?" Maddie relived the night before as she talked about it, squirming in her seat.

"Well, you know. He didn't jizz in his pants or anything? Didn't go for the wrong hole?"

Her blush worsened and she let out an unexpected laugh. "Um, no." A grin worked its way onto her lips. "He seemed to know exactly what he was doing."

Posy leant back in her seat. "Wow. I'm glad – I was rooting for you, babe. So he's not a virgin then, I guess?"

Maddie frowned. "What do you mean?"

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