Being Alone Part 1

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Jilly's POV...

Walking home from school everyday was a chore. I had no one to walk with and no one to talk with. I just walk myself to school and walk myself home. Every day the same. It never changed. I didn't have any friends to talk over my days with or share any experiences with. It was just me.

The only one who really took any notice of me when he was around was uncle Jimmy. He always had a bit of time for me, especially when I had found something that was really interesting and wanted to share it with someone.

Nan was often too busy doing something around the house and poppa was also off doing something about the place or out in the shed fixing or changing something. So I never really got to spend much time with them during the day.

They weren't my real grandparents either. They were actually my mothers aunt and uncle. When I was born, there wasn't really anyone in the family to take me after my mother died when she was pregnant with me. From everything that I have learned about her, she was a jealous and spiteful girl who didn't like my aunt Jenny, uncle Jimmy's older sister.

So it was Jenny's parents that raised me after my dad ran away and my other grandmother rejected me too. I guess they all thought it was my fault with what happened, but I don't see how though. But that's how I came to be living with nan and poppa. I still lived with them even after dad came back and accepted me.

At least I think he did.

Nan and pop  looked after me since dad's work took him away from home most of the time. Sometimes I thought that he took those jobs so he wouldn't have to see me much. I know my mother hurt him and maybe he just put up with me for a while until I was old enough to look after myself.

I could pretty much look after myself anyway.

I've been doing it for so long now that it's like second nature to me now. I don't even have to worry about buying anything for myself either. Nan and pop feed me because I live here with them, but a lot of other things I get because dad gives me an allowance to use.

It's a fairly good one too, but I don't spend that much as there is no one to go places with to spend it anyway. Every few months, Nan asks me if I need anything and after checking out my room, I make a small list of the essential things and the following day, they'll be sitting on my bed waiting for me to come home from school to find them and pack them away in my dressing room.

My dressing room was the room that my mother used when she stayed here after all that business years ago before she was taken into protective custody. Poppa turned it into a dressing room  with an ensuite off it, making my room very self sufficient in my area of the house.

I like it and it suits me too.

Anyway, I grew up without having any friends to spend time with either in school or out of it. That means that I spent a lot of time reading and learning and suffice to say, I was getting pretty smart with a lot of knowledge I had been taking in.

But I was lonely and it was like no one really saw that.

I decided when I was very young after learning about my mother that when I grew up, my kids were going to be loved. I'll make sure they get lots of kisses and cuddles, mostly from me. I'll make sure that they are happy too.

I learned not long ago that there is a trust fund held in trust for me that I inherited from my mother. It was suppose to go to my mother, but since she has gone, it was to be passed on to her heirs, whoever they were to be. In this case, it's just me.

I'll be receiving it in a couple of years from now. But for now, I'm dependant on everyone else for just about everything. But the time will come when I can live in my own place and look after myself too. I've been learning how and watching others that come near me, like the family that is still here.

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