0.28 ; stay with me | ✔

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0.28 ; stay with me

As soon as my body hits the floor, I know that I am on my way out: that I'm going to die. I am not going to make it home to Bracken and Chryssi, and there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing at all.

I won't get to see my little brother grow up, I won't get to see him with his own family; to be auntie Clove to all his little sons and daughters. And I won't get to see Chryssi walk down the aisle in a long white dress on her wedding day, nor see her build her ceremonial wall with her new husband.

But, most of all, I'll never be able to make him forget. If I die, it will be on his mind forever.

I can tell this as soon as his body crashes down beside me on the grass. "No, no, stay with me Clove." he pleads, closing his hands around mine, as if trying to hold on to the life that's slowly seeping away.

"Cato, it's no use. Tell Bracken and Chryssi that l love them, and take care of them for me, please Cato. " I manage to choke out, taking deep breathes to try and calm myself, but it's not working: I know that I'm dying.

He leans down over me, his expression pained, eyes welling up, as if tears are about to drip from those bright blue eyes. I can hardly imagine it, its so difficult to think of: Cato crying. But it's happening right now, right in front of my eyes.

But I don't know why.

I'm not worth crying over. Am I?

No Clove, you're not worth crying over. Even when you're dying.

I bet fire girl is oh so happy now, after seeing Thresh deliver the blow that would end my life. I bet she has run straight back to Loverboy to tell him the good news: that Clove Carrow is dead. Forever. And, as soon as that cannon sounds, she knows that it's final. That I'm not coming back.

I'm just another dead career in the never-ending sea, one that will keep on flowing until somebody has the courage to stop these games. These terrible games that have tricked us all for years. No, volunteering for this is not honourable. It's all just stupid. We're all just pieces in their games: something to be messed around with, and played and pulled. Like puppets under their masters control. We are the Capitol's puppets.

But I can't be pulled around anymore. Because I'm dying at the hands of my masters.

And that means that I escape them. I escape them all. I am free.

Suddenly, I feel as if I'm floating, like a bird, flying as the sky above my body begins to blur, drifting in and out of focus. My eyes begin to close, slowly, slowly...


"NO, Clove stay with me, please!" the shouts cause my eyes to open suddenly. The sky is blocked off. Instead, all I can see are Cato's perfect blue eyes, hovering over my own, forcing me to stare into the icy depths that used to captivate me everyday. "Please, Clove, if I go home without you, I'll never be able to live with myself."

He runs his hands through his hair in anguish, stress, and he screams in annoyance, his voice laced with pity, anger, sadness and despair. "I need to say something, because I can't deal with you never knowing." he pauses for a moment, takes one long deep breath, then continues "The only reason I'm here is because of you."

He stops, and I take in his words, my heart beating a mile a minute.

What on earth does he mean?

"You are the reason I volunteered for this. I saw you get picked, and knew that, if you died and I'd never had a chance to repay you, I'd spend the rest of my life indebted to a girl I knew got to know; the bravest girl I've ever met. And so I volunteered, and vowed to myself that I would save you if you needed saving. But, instead of me saving you, you saved me, another two or three times. And, when it was my time to help, when you needed me..." his voice becomes choked suddenly, but I can't say anything. My voice has frozen in my throat, robbing me of my words. My vision keeps blurring, and every time I try to clear my eyes, they just slide out of focus again, failing me over and over. All I want to do is spend the last few moment of my time here on this earth staring into those eyes, savouring their memory until I'm gone from this world. But my own eyes keep on failing me. I just can't focus.

"When you needed me.......I wasn't fast enough to save you. I failed you Clove Carrow."

It is then that tears begin to leak from his eyes, clear and bold enough that, even with my fast weakening vision, I clearly notice them. "I'm sorry Clove. I'm so sorry."

When he says those words, they seem miles away, as if he's saying them from over the other side of the field, or whispering them. I can feel my eyes slowly closing again, and this time, I know they're not going to open again.

I know it, it's my time to go. But I have to do something before I go, before I leave this world and travel into whatever is beyond it. So, instead of taking my secrets to the grave, I take every last bit of strength I have to pull him towards me, and press my lips to his.

And, even though I'm dying, I feel alive.

We pull apart, and I just about manage to register the pure shock on his face, before a furious bout of pain rushes through my head, like someone just stabbed my brain with a handful of massive needles.

And that's when I know that it truly is the end. I take one last look at him, savouring every last moment, and manage to utter the words. "I love you Cato. Goodbye." before my eyes close, shutting the world out.

I can feel my heart slowing down; the mile a minute beats turning to nothing, and my thoughts gradually drifting away.

Until, finally, there is nothing at all.

{proofed and edited 11/11/16 (okay wow i was so terrible at writing tragic romance i'm cringing at my fifteen year old self so bad right now)}

{update 29/03/17 I FOUND THE WORD ORBS AGAIN ERGHHHHH KILL IT WITH FIRE (I edited it out its all good it's gone stand down the troops) }