Episode X2: Party Games

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Episode X2:  Party Games

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) You’re listening to the Adventures of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle. Today’s episode? “Party Games”

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO 0 M 10 S.

SCENE: INTERIOR. MUTED SOUNDS OF CHATTER.

ARGYLE: Boss! It’s that snake, Penelope Chase!

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: But how can that be?

CASSANDRA: (EXCITED): You’ve seen Penelope?

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: (CONFUSED) This is my fiancée, Cassandra.

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: Hah, her name is Penelope, Will. Step away from her.

ARGYLE: Want I should waste her like I did last time, boss?

CASSANDRA: What?! What’s going on here?!

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: What’s wrong with you two? This woman is going to be my wife!

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: No she isn’t, Will, not if I have a say in it. She’s the traitorous pile of scum who betrayed the citizens of the fine town of Rockopolis to heartless slavers. (HEROICALLY) She deserves death, Will, and you deserve better!

SOUND EFFECT: A GUN BEING COCKED.

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: (AGHAST) Get behind me, Cassandra!

CASSANDRA: Yes, Will. Your brother is crazy!

SOUND OF CLOTHING RUSTLING AS CASSANDRA COWERS BEHIND WILBERFORCE.

THE MURMUR OF BACKGROUND TALK COMES TO AN ABRUPT STOP.

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: My God, Bertie, what are you going to do with that gun, kill her?

ARGYLE: After what she did to Rockopolis, she deserves to die. Shooting’s too good for her. I’d be happy to try the Eagle Claw again, though - just say the word, boss.

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: The Eagle Claw? Herbert, you aren’t going to let him try that, are you? I mean, rip her still-beating heart from her chest - (PAUSE) Argyle, you really are a ghoul!

LOUD GASPS FROM THE CROWD

ALLISTAIR TENPENNY: (LOUDLY) Did someone say there was a ghoul in my building?!

ARGYLE: Boss, that’s Allistair Tenpenny! I think we’ve worn out our welcome.

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: Run, Argyle!

CASSANDRA: Will, are we going to be oka –

ALLISTAIR TENPENNY: (OVER CASSANDRA) Stop, you undead miscreants!

SOUND EFFECT: GUNSHOT

WILBERFORCE DASHWOOD: We’d better run too, Cassandra!

END SCENE

THEME MUSIC (“Jazzy Interlude”, Billy Munn)

HERBERT “DARING” DASHWOOD: (V.O.) Be sure to tune in next time for another exciting Adventure of me, Herbert “Daring” Dashwood, and my stalwart ghoul manservant, Argyle!

THEME MUSIC CONTINUES TO END

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