Chapter 18

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"Mom, I'm sorry." I whine into the phone.

"Sorry is not going to cut it Kellin." She says sternly. "I told you to make sure you called me before you went to bed. I was worried sick."

I sigh and roll my eyes. She's being ridiculous.

"Mom, I had a long day and I was tired." I explain and she sighs.

"I know honey, I'm sorry. I'll be more mindful of that from now on." She says and I thank her. "So how did dinner go last night. Did you eat all of it?"

"Yeah, Vic managed to get me to eat." I mumble ashamed. I feel so embarrassed for carrying on the way I did last night and so guilty for making Vic cry.

"Good, good. Have you had breakfast yet?" She asks.

"Vic's making me some now." I mumble, feeling my stomach churn as I think about it.

Just at that moment, Vic walks back into the room holding a plate of bacon and eggs. He didn't have to go that far, cereal would have been fine. He puts the plate in my lap and I thank him before he kisses my forehead.

"Is that Vic? Can I talk to him?" Mom asks.

"She wants to talk to you." I say holding my phone out and Vic takes it before putting it up to his ear.

I pick up the knife and fork that are sitting in my lap before looking down at the food.

"We had a little trouble to begin with but he ate it all in the end." Vic says into the phone.

I cut off a little bit of bacon and give it a dreading look. I look up making eye contact with Vic. He gives me a pleading stare and I sigh a little before putting it in my mouth, chewing then swallowing. He smiles gratefully at me and I go back to eating.

"I just gave him a big breakfast because I'm not going to be home to feed him lunch. Though I'll give him a snack after school." He explains to Mom.

I continue to eat my breakfast as he talks to Mom. Every bite gets harder. I thought things were supposed to get easier. Vic said that it was up to me but I don't see how. I'm trying, I really am but I don't see how making me fatter is going to help with my self esteem.

I sigh and finish eating, making sure to eat all of it, not wanting to let Vic down again. I always let him down and it hurts. I hate it so much.

"Alright, I'll tell him. Yes I will. I promise. Take care. Bye." Vic says before hanging up the phone.

He comes back over to me and sits on the edge of the bed. He looks down at the plate seeming shocked before a smile spreads across his face.

"Aww baby, I'm so proud of you. You ate it all by yourself. You have no idea how happy I am." He gushes.

I attempt to smile but my eyes just fill with tears. I feel so disgusting. I'm so fat. I don't ever want to eat ever again. God I'm gross. Vic probably doesn't want to look at me.

I start crying and Vic wraps his arms around me.

"I'm sorry I'm disgusting. I'm sorry I'm not beautiful." I sob into his chest.

"Kell, you're beyond beautiful. You're fucking gorgeous and in no way are you disgusting." Vic whispers. "Don't think like that."

"It's not that easy. People have been saying I'm fat for years. What am I supposed to think. It's so obvious that I am." I cry and Vic's grip tightens around me.

"What do you mean people have been saying this for years? How long has this been happening for Kells?" Vic asks and I breathe deeply, trying to get my sobbing under control.

"Since middle school." I mumble, choking back more sobs.

"Damn Kells, did Matty start it?" I can tell that he's trying to seem caring but the rage in his eyes explains all.

I snivel and shake my head before taking his hand in mine. I distract myself with the feeling of his calloused fingers, probably that way from playing guitar.

"These kids started it, back when Matty and I were friends." I begin to explain.

"You and Matty were friends?" Vic asks shocked and I nod sniveling.

"Like best friends, since we were like babies. His dad races cars and my dad fixed them so they were like friends or whatever. Then when Matty and I hit middle school I started to get bullied because of my weight and Matty was copping it too because of me." I breathe, trying desperately not to break down again.

"Kells, I know you don't want to hear it but I doubt that you were ever overweight. It's just ridiculous." Vic sighs and I shake my head.

"If I was never overweight then why was I called fat?" I snap and Vic looks at me hurt.

"You were called fat because people are assholes and they're jealous of how absolutely perfect you are." Vic murmurs, wiping the tears off of my face. "Now tell me more about these assholes."

I give him a small grateful smile. He is honestly the best boyfriend in the entire world.

"The bullies, they used to call us 'Fatty and Matty'. Matty was okay with that, he even constantly made sure that I was okay. Then they started calling us fags and the word somehow got out to his father. I don't know what happened but Matty came to school covered in bruises. He just flipped out on me, told me I was disgusting, accused me of having a crush on him then said that everything was my fault. After that, he joined the bullies. And then I found out what he really thought of me. Then I lost all my friends, until Oli stuck up for me one day in freshman year and basically saved my life."

By the time I'm finished, to my dismay, Vic's eyes are once again filled with unshed tears.

"This is so unfair. You've done nothing to deserve all this. You're beautiful and they've made you think the opposite of that. They've ruined something perfect." Vic mumbles, blinking away the tears.

"You think I'm ruined?" I ask, a sense of dread filling my stomach.

"No, of course not. I think your self-esteem's ruined." He clarifies and I nod sighing relieved.

I look at the alarm clock that's sitting on the nightstand.

"You should probably go to school." I whisper and he gives me a small smile before nodding.

He brushes some hair out of my face before kissing my forehead.

"I'll see you after school." He whispers and I nod.

"I'll miss you." I mumble, going slightly red in the face.

"I'll miss you too."

He gives me a sad smile as he pulls his bag over his shoulder then he wraps his arms around me for one last hug. He then stands up and walks to the door, turning back to give me a wave. I return it and he blows me a kiss before leaving and closing the door behind him. Ugh, I'm probably going to be bored out of my mind all day and I miss my boyfriend already.

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