Letter Thirty: The One Who Looks Back At Me

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Dear my reflection,

When i look at you, i see a pair of bluey greyish eyes. I see a girl, a small size, (Fun sized) size eight. I see a smile. I see long brown hair that once was blonde. 

Well really, thats what everyone else see's. 

I see, eyes that look into a soul that is filled with love, happiness, but also sadness and frighfulness. I see an insecure girl who acts independent and isnt afraid to say what she believes. Someone strong yet weak, shy yet open minded.

I see a girl who loves to laugh, and always does. But that smile that is plastered on that small pale face, is not always a true smile. It's plastered on that face because you don't want to let anyone else worry about you. You want to let everyone else feel okay before you can even think about yourself. Behind those eyes, behind that soul his a broken heart. Broken not only by the poeple you used to love, but the people you still love. Family have broken that heart, friends have broken that heart. And yet you still manage to carry on laughing.

After evrything my reflection has been through, im proud, Im proud to call it my reflection. I have been though enough shit to realise life isn't those fairy tales you read about when you were four, but really its a roller coster and honestly, its not about the ride, it's about who's with you through it. I will always cherish those memories i have, those things I've done, and those things i am yet to do. I will always love and live to the fullist, and although i may be a stubborn bitch sometimes, i will always try to forgive, but never will I forget. 

I can see that not everyone is going to like who I am and what I believe in and I am now okay with that. i am okay with what's going on in my life even though it's tuff to manage. But i know in the end it will all be worth it. Life has it's ups and it's downs but so does a rollercoster.

I will never be horrified at you, my reflection. Because to be honest, your just a reflection, it's the person who is actually standing infront of the reflection that is to be aware of how to act, as to be horrified at one's self would be dreadful, and i don't know how I would cope.

i will always trust you and depend on you.

Chloe xx

Love chloe xx

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