Suicidal - Sad/Sweet One Shot

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every fight we had just made me get weaker. I loved him, I still love him, as much as I loved him 3 years ago when we started dating, so much. But he keeps on hurting me. And everytime I slip back in to his arms.

"I promise you it's nothing, just work baby" "She pushed herself all over me, I swear I wouldn't have done that to you Nicole" "I can explain... it's not what you think it is!" was all part of his excuses and I was sick of it. But his touch and smile was making me melt down right in to his arms.

When he would hurt me, I would hurt myself as well. Every excuse would get me to take the razor and add a little mark to remind me I did bad and that he had yelled at me. I don't think he knows. I hope he doesn't.

"You promied me you'll loose contact with this girl Bruno!" I yelled at him. "You're just overreacting all the time! I did nothing* he screamed back. "Oh please, I saw you speaking with her at the corner of the street when I went to work today. You flirted with her! I could see it in your eyes. I know your flirtatious look from way too close Bruno" I screamed and felt the tears starts streaming down. He hates me. He doesn't truley love me. He bit his lips and calmed his voice down. "Baby..." he said calmly and came closer to me as he took my arm and I jerked away. "Don't touch me" I said more as in a whisper. He ignored ny comment. "I love you, I don't wanna fight. Let's just forget it, ok?" he said calmly and flashed a small smile to me. "Forget?! You just want me to forget?!" I raised my voice again and his smile faded away. I won't fall for it this time.

"You keep on cheating me and hurting me all the time" the tears kept on streaming down my face. "You don't even love me!" I yelled at his face and he just stayed silence. "I hate you! I hate you so much! I hate everything!" I cried and ran upstaires to my room, leaving him downstairs, speechless. I cried hard. I felt so useless and unimportant after that.

Another cut? I can barely find a place to cut. Cutting won't help me feel better. I need to just disappear from this world. I'm sure it won't matter fot Bruno. He hates me anyway. He never loved me, doesn't he? He just thought of me as another girl to fuck and then the next morning I was alone in the bed. So what does it'll mean to him? Nothing. Just another less girl to fuck, he will find a new one.

I went to the terrace and looked down. 'It's high enough, Or at least I hope it's high enough' I thought to myself. This is the moment I've been waiting for. Just to disappear. 'Don't look down Nicole, Just do it. Fast and easy. You won't feel no pain anymore.' I said in my mind.

I moved my right leg over the rail, then moved my left leg over and held on the rail. I balanced myself on the edge of the terrace, slowly lifting my left arm and then my right arm, balancing myself there, trying to stop the tears that already made me look as red as a tomatoe, with no success.

"Goodbye world..." I whispered and closed my eyes. I started counting.

10...

9...

8...

7...

6...

5...

4...

3...

2...

I've felt someone grabs my waist, picking me up and carries me inside. "Let me go!" I never stopped crying, and I just cried harder. "I won't let you do that" I could hear his voice choked, and saw his bloodshot big brown eyes, like they just started crying. He grabbed me in to a tight hug and burried my head in his chest. I cried hard and tried to pull away but he was too strong for me and eventually I gave up. I cried so hard against his chest and he cried with me, comforting me.

"Why did you want to do it?" he said softly. "You made me feel like I don't belong to this world" I said with tears streaming down on his chest, his smell was still on the shirt. I always loved his scent. I could feel his heart stop beating for a few seconds after I said those words.

He took my chin and lift my face up so I was looking right through his eyes. "Nicole..." he tried to find the right words. "I love you. I really do. I never meant to hurt you. And if I did, I'm sorry. I need you in my life. I can't live without you. I've been taking you for granted, but I was wrong. I will never do such thing again. I don't expect you to forgive me baby, I really don't. But I promise you that if you'll let me a second chance, I won't hurt you anymore. Starting today. And if you won't... so I hope the next man you're going to have is going to treat you the way you should be treaten." he said.

I sat there speechless. He really is hurted. He does regret everything. I looked deep in those big brown bloodshoted eyes, and he looked in mine. He leaned in slowly and I completed the way to his lips. He gave me a passionate kiss, showing all the love and how much he is sorry. I gave in. I will deny if I'll say I don't have feelings for him. This kiss reminded me all the great things that happend in those 3 years that we're dating.

When we pulled away, he looked down at my arms. He saw all of the scars and cuts I've been hiding from him. Without saying a word, he brang my arm to him and kissed my scars.

"I love you Nicole" he said. "I love you too" I whispered.

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