Ten & Levan

19. Nineteen

TEN

Some thirty minutes later, Levan and I have been able to jot down some important things about the story he's going to write. I don't even know why I'm helping him. Yes, I've read loads of books. Yes, I always read before I go to bed. But no, I don't write. And I didn't even hesitate before offering my nonexistent services to Levan. I must be very brave or very stupid, I laugh at myself in my head.

"What's funny?" Levan asks me, his pale blues peering up from the notebook his nose has been in from the past half hour.

"Nothing, I'm just thinking how I offered to help and didn't help at all," I tell him, snickering. He shakes his head at me as he smiles. But that's different, he smiles like he isn't trying to stop himself the way he does all the time.

I think I'm about to get another medal. A medal of honor for unlocking this wonder-full mind.

I grin alone as he works on the story, his story. And he thinks I don't know, but I do. He thinks I don't hear, but I do. I see his thoughts floating all around us, drowning him. He keeps trying to float but he can't, I know. He doesn't know how to swim yet, so his thoughts just hold him under. Because he's just lost, and wonder-full, and Levan like that. I think those words have synonymized themselves with his name in my head.

I peek into his notebook, the way I do every three to four minutes, and he lets me take a look, which is crazy if you think about it. Does he feel it too? I let my eyes wander across his unintelligible words. I press my lips together and look at him, he silently laughs because he knows I don't get a single letter. But I kind of do. I just don't tell him, all so he'd tell me, so he'd speak to me.

"The characters are going through their own motions and everything is in the right place until they meet," he tells me, excitement sparkling in his eyes and his brows up in the sky. "Mostly, in stories, they meet and everything falls in place in the end. What if, these characters end up more messed up than they were before meeting each other?"

"Like someone dies?" I ask, leaning against the wall behind his bed.

"No, that happens all the time. Main character's love interest is killed off at the end to get a cry out of the readers, we don't wanna do that, that's cliché," he tells me, "what if they end up hating each other?" he says, ducking his head. I raise my brows with realization.

"Oh, sounds new," I tell him, he smiles even brighter. God, I love this. More often, More often, all the time. "Just one thing, what are they going to be called? The names?" I ask him. His smile fades as he realizes he hasn't decided that yet.

"Yes, the names..." he mutters. I try to think of names, and before I can even start thinking, I jump up onto my knees.

"I have an idea!" Levan leans back, surprised and scared of my sudden outrage. "Do you think their names could be numbers too?" I suggest, wide-eyed and leaning over him. He stares at me like I've scared the shit out of him. He should get used to this by now. He looks at me like crazy while he laughs.

"You're crazy," he tells me, freaked out but humored none the less. I flash him a toothy smile.

"Yeah, where's the breaking news? But the names!" I say and sit back down, folding my knees under me. Levan leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees as he thinks. Say yes, say yes, PS. I chant inside my head.

"But that happened with us," he says.

"Doesn't happen all the time! It's unusual!" I try to convince him. Then he smiles all by himself as he stares at the floor. I already have the names inside my head, just say yes Levan, and we'll name them Six and Seven.

He looks at me the way he does before he's about to do something he can't believe he is, especially when he's about to say yes.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he mumbles. I let out a squeal and hug him from the side. I know what happens in this story already. I know the world doesn't come crashing down, that'll be cliché. I know someone breaks. I know someone heals. And I know that I'm going to stop playing the controlled and he's going to stop playing the limited.

He's going to be revolutionary. I'm going to be revolutionary. We're going to be fucking revolutionary.

He'd better start believing it.

I snap out of my daydream when my phone starts to buzz inside my pocket. I struggle to take it out of my pocket so I'm basically doing all kinds of yoga on Levan's bed just so I could have this fucking piece of plastic and metal out of my pocket. Levan watches me with wide eyes. What's so freaky about some struggle-flex? It happens with me all the time.

I sigh when I see mom's name on the screen and swipe to pick up the call as I bounce off the bed and walk over to the window. I spend the next two minutes explaining to her that I'm still at Levan's and no, nothing happened and subtly growl about she's acting all nosy and stuck up. She asks me to get my butt back home because she's going to the office for a little. I tell her I'll be there in five.

"You're leaving?" asks Levan, still sitting in the middle of notes and scraps. I try to judge his voice. Is he not okay with me leaving just yet? Does he want me to stay longer? Should I stay longer? But I can't. So I nod and sigh.

"Yup, mom needs me back home," I explain.

"Oh," he mutters, my heart performs the ballet it doesn't know, it only knows thump, blip and flutter. Is he sad that I'm leaving? I'm still judging though.

"I could stay if you want?" I say, shoving my hands into the pockets of my shorts. He wasn't ready for this, obviously so he gets back to being awkward Levan.

"Um, uh –no, it's alright. I mean –"

"So you're kicking me out?" I ask, raising a brow. Ooh, I feel like Regina George when she asks Cady if she thinks she's really pretty. I smirk inside my head.

"No!" he exclaims, straightening his back. "No, I didn't mean that," he says. I narrow my eyes at him, walk up close and bend down until his face is inches from mine. He looks petrified as I watch his throat work on a swallow. Then I lean in closer to his ear.

"I'm just...kidding..." I whisper and pull back to look at his pale face before I burst into a round of laughter. He's breathing so heavily that it takes all of him to smile back at me as I wear my shoes. "Loosen up, kid. I joke all the time, get used to it," I say, bumping him shoulder to shoulder.

I jump back up to my feet, "You can continue working, I'll show myself out," I say and don't wait for his reply before heading straight out of the door. Outside Levan's room, I bump into little Ava with her pretty, pale blonde hair up in a ponytail. Her eyes widen and she scans me from head to toe.

"Ava, hi!" I chime, "are you just returning?" She struggles to smile at me but that's unusual for Ava, the lilac bird.

"Hey, um yeah, I was at a friend's place," she says, peering behind me at Levan's door.

"Cool," I mutter, remembering what she told me about never going inside Levan's room. I feel my face heat up but I don't know why.

"Were you in there?" she asks, looking up at me. I find myself at a loss of words. Do I tell her that Levan let me inside his room when he's never let her? I don't want to, that would hurt her.

"Yeah," I mumble, still thinking up an excuse. Her face falls.

"He –he let you in?" she asks me, for a moment, I want to tell her that even though he let me inside his room, he never really lets me inside his head, that I want him to let me all in.

"Um, I actually barged in so he's kicking me out," I tell her, pressing my lips together.

"Oh," relief washes over her face and then she smiles at me, her pale blue eyes shining, "Okay." and I smile at her back before flying down the stairs, awkwardly smiling at the grumpy Mr. Emery sitting at the table and taking my butt straight to the car.

Even when I get home, I can't stop thinking about the little girl who's been shut all out.