That's Another Story For Later

Broken

I shuddered in a breath, dropping from Kili's arms, and onto my knees. I gathered rasping and ragged breaths, quivering violently. Gandalf was right. I didn't want to know this. This was the worst thing I could've asked for. I shouldn't have gone looking. I should've asked Thranduil to stop. But I didn't, and now I'm plagued with this forever. Plagued with seeing my parents die.

Wet dropped onto my sleeves, and onto the floor. "Wait... that means I owe Dia's safety to you!" Dwalin exclaimed. I brought my head up to stare at the apathetic king. He sat there, staring, not caring what happened to us, not caring about what was happening to me. While gratitude was in order, bitterness and rage coursed through my veins. My core heated, and I wasn't just shaking from despair. Tears streamed down my face in continuous rivulets, my eyes blazing in Vanadium steel.

"Iridian...?" Kili said softly. I didn't answer, only gripping my arms, my nails digging into them. It stung, but it helped center myself as everything whipped around me. 

"Nathith..." Dwalin said in the same tone. I heard Fili and Thorin mutter my name as well. Something like a frayed rope snapped, and I cursed. My head snapped to face Thranduil, utter fury in my eyes.

"My parents died for you! They protected you, instead of me, because they were so loyal! And you didn't even try to save them!" I burst out. I stood, stumbling like a drunk. I trembled visibly in animosity, my fists clenched. I darted forward, going to draw a dagger in my sleeve. Arms grabbed my waist firmly, stopping me from getting farther. I struggled like a caged wild animal, but he was to strong. "Kili! Let me go!" I growled.

"Iridian. Don't do anything stupid." Kili said softly.

"Just let me go! He needs to understand the pain of loss!" I turned back to Thranduil, still attempting to break free. Kili kept his grip, and it frustrated me. "You never did anything, and watched them die!"

"I did try and get to them to help them. But I had my own band of Orcs to fight. Your parents were capable. Your mother's death was something unavoidable. There would have been no way to save her. She bled out. The arrow was probably poisonous."

"You Elves heal things! Including poison! That shouldn't be an excuse for not saving her!"

"As I said, she bled out before we could have gotten help." He said, accepting the argument. He was such an arrogant air to him, and it made me struggle harder. It infuriated me how he talked of this loss like it was nothing. 

"God damn it, Kili! Let me go!" His only response was to hold tighter. "Then what about my father?! You didn't try and save him! He was supposed to take care of me!" I accused, my voice half an octave higher in rage.

"Your father chose to be with your mother. I could not change that." King Thranduil seemed so calm about it. It only enraged me more. My father abandoned me, and gave his life away to the Pale Orc, to be with his love. Did my father even love me at all if he did that?

"Let me guess." I said in a sickly sweet tone. "Two warriors was only a small sacrifice for you, King?" I spat venomously, fighting against the hold that never loosened. "Nadorhuan!" I could feel the energy radiate from Thranduil as he glared at me, obviously bothered by my outburst.

"I'm sorry for your loss. I found your parents to be my two best soldiers, and trusted companions. I grieved their loss."

"Amin feuya ten' lle. Dolle naa lost. You're sorry?! That's all you can say when my parents were taken from me?! Besides, what would you know about grieving?! You have innumerable amounts of soldiers at your dispense! My parents were nothing but a sacrifice! Liar!" I screeched. I felt Kili's head press to the nape of my neck.