Dear Kell, April 18th, 2016
It's hard for someone to understand. You can make me laugh so easily. I wear my heart in my sleeve. But really I might be. Crying behind the screen. The funny thing is autocorrect just correct crying to dying and both of them could make sense in that spot. This screen protects who I really am. I may seem like I'm laughing to you as we make jokes and talk about our lives but I could also have tears staining my pillow. It's a feeling I can't explain. You might asked me why I feel this way but I don't even know what I'm feeling. It's like I don't want to talk to anyone but I want someone to hug me and cuddle me and tell me it will be okay and mean it. I want to be able to ignore everyone for a while and be alone at my house but I want one special person there. God that person means so much to me. Their so perfect and so, so I can't even describe them. You know exactly what I'm saying. There just... themselves. And I don't really know how to explain how much I would want you there with me as I break down crying. I'll look broken and I'll be a mess and I would pray to God that you will be there to pick me up and take me I to your loving arms and wrap your body around mine. Hold me while tears shake my body and my sobs push me into a panic attack. Then you calm me down. With just your touch, your loving touch that I dream about. So when I am crying or dying or breaking or sobbing I dream you will be there. But only you. And I still can't explain the feeling. But I just did my best.
Your truly,
Hope Solo
