For Him

Chapter 1- For Him

Kurt:

I'm doing it all for him: my dad. Just saying that to myself, it makes it almost acceptable. Almost okay. Almost.

I'm not proud of what I do, who I am, where I live...To be honest, I hate everything about myself. But that doesn't matter, does it? I'm stuck here, anyways.

"300 dollars cash," I said to...Todd? Wait no, Troy? Screw it, it started with a T.

He shrugged, pulling his pants back on. "Don't have it."

Of course. I should've known. "You don't have it?" I laughed, but it came out as more of a wheeze. "You don't have the money! Hah!"

Tony just smirked, and looked up at me. "Sorry, hun. Maybe next time."

And with that, Theo stood up, blew me a kiss, and left the dingy hotel room, a cloud of dust rising at the closing door.

"All that work...all that fucking work gone to waste! Haha!" I got off the bed striding to the other side of the room. "He wasn't even good in bed, I'll tell you that much!"

Unable to control my anger, I picked up the champagne glass that I'd left on the nightstand only hours before, feeling the smoothness on my palm for the last time, then throwing it down on the carpet with a smash.

"Don't have the money? Well fuck that!" Fists rolled into balls, knuckles on pillows, over and over and over again. Blood on bedsheets. It's all a blur. Anger does that to you.

Storming out of the hotel, I came across the maid in the hallway, about to enter a room with her cleaning trolley.

"Excuse me? There was a little bit of damage in my room, but you have the credit card number, right?"

"Yes, sir. Whoever rented the room, we have their PIN number."

"Great, you can just charge that, okay? Have a nice day."

I'm sure as hell not paying for that mess. Not my credit card, not my problem. No, sir.

~~~

"I'm back!" I called, walking into the apartment and skirting around the furniture in my way.

"In the kitchen!"

Blaine was standing there when I arrived: a bowl in his hands and flour coating his face. "Well hello, Kurtie."

"You call me that again, and you'll wake up without any fingers."

"Charming. You want some pancakes? I made enough for the two of us."

"Yeah, thanks," I said gratefully. By the way the day was going, I really needed it.

I watched as he poured the pancake batter on the griddle, smiling to himself at the sizzling noise.

"Sunday morning rain is falling," he sang into the spatula, which he was using as a mock microphone. "Steal some covers share some skin."

The spatula flung in my direction, Blaine looking at me expectantly. "No." Puppy dog eyes. Ugh. "No way, Blaine Anderson. I'm not singing."

"Come on, you were great in high school."

"We don't mention high school anymore. Do you want me to wash your mouth out with soap again?"

"That wouldn't taste good with pancakes, would it?" Blaine asked mockingly, plopping the food into two separate plates. "Syrup on the top or on the side?"

"On the side."

We ate the food in silence, but I could feel his gaze on me every once in a while, like he was about to say something. "Well, spit it out."

"I thought I was being discreet," Blaine mumbled, staring back onto his plate. "Something's up with you. How'd last night go?"

"Best friend telepathy I guess..." I shrugged, letting out a small sigh. "Oh, you know. The usual. They fuck me, then don't pay. I'm nothing but good to them, and they can't even give me my money!"

I could see the disappointment in his eyes, and the pity. It's the same look he's been giving me since we first met in sophomore year. Sympathy. I never wanted it.

That was the thing about me, about my life. It didn't necessary suck, because I had my dad and I had Blaine. There were just some unfortunate circumstances that got in my way.

Blaine was always just kind of...there. I never had to ask him. He just was. To buy me a coffee with his own babysitting money when my dad was in the hospital, even though I gave him two dollars of my own to pay for it. To drive over to my house when I had one of my panic attacks and comfort me. To make me smile when I needed it the most. Blaine did that. Just because he was too good for me.

"I don't see why you don't just get another job!" He tried arguing, putting down his utensils. "You deserve better than that."

"It pays well!" I tried, even though a job as a gigolo wasn't something to defend. There's no use in saying "male escort" is there? Doesn't change who I am and what I do.

"Yeah? How's that working out for you? You didn't even come home with any money for last night!"

"What else am I supposed to do? Nobody's going to hire someone with a high school education, Blaine! They only took me at the office because I'm a good beggar. I'm a college dropout, remember? I'm a loser!"

My temper always got the best of me. I wasn't thinking straight anymore. Why was I angry in the first place? I don't know, I don't know. Blurriness. It's all a blur.

"You know why I'm doing this! You know my dad can't do it by himself! I need to pay for his home, his electricity, his water..." I was shaking: my hands, my shoulders. No, Blaine, stop looking at me like that!

"Kurt...Kurt, calm down..." He said, concern lining his voice.

"You know, it's almost April. Tax day soon! Whoopee!" Tears. Tears on my eyes, tears on my cheeks. Stop crying, Kurt. Pussy.

Blaine waited no longer until his arms were around me, holding me onto him closely, his heartbeat clashing with my own. "Shhh...it's okay...you're okay..."

I was choking over my own tears, spluttering and gasping for breath. I'm an ugly crier, a disgustingly ugly crier, and I can't even imagine how I'd looked at that moment. A mess, I'm sure.

His fingers were rubbing small circles onto my back, my sobbing slowing down to soft sighs. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep, and I allowed it to take over.

The thing about falling asleep, though, is having to wake up to the same thing you were running from.

First chapter! I'm creating/rewriting and deleting a lot of stories lately, but I'd really like to stick with this one, since it has so much potential!

Please check out my other stories while you're here. I recommend my two favorites: "One Sun Away" and "Not As Strong As You Think"

Thanks!