To wrap up my previous post about the ways male porn sneaks into mainstream erotic romance and shapes female desire, I'll quickly mention a few more books as examples.
In Bare to You by Sylvia Day, we have the hero trying to persuade the heroine she's a submissive even though she's telling him otherwise; and even though he's a refined billionaire, he keeps referring to her vagina as cunt.
In Bang by E.K. Blair (which I loved for other reasons), the infuriated hero beats up the heroine with a belt; later he urinates inside her to "mark" her as his. In Echo, the sequel, he's enraged and brutally rapes her in the ass even after having learned that she was sexually abused during her entire childhood. She's also raped by another character with the handle of a gun.
In Echo: A Dark Billionaire Romance by A. Zavarelli, the blurb reads: "He says he owns me. And it's true ... I've signed over complete control of my body and life for six months to a man I don't know ... He likes to hurt me. I love to let him. He brings me to life. He sets me free."
In Owned by M. Never, the hero says, "I like you collared, baby. I like you naked, I like you mine." He drugs her, and she wakes up in a cage to be raped every day until her will is broken, for her own safety because he's "protecting her" from a terrible danger.
I also remember reading a synopsis of a novel where the dominant hero for some reason could only experience pleasure through anal sex, so the girl went along with that. I didn't read the novel, but I can imagine all the lust and backdoor activities happening on a regular basis.
Do we see a pattern here? Keywords: submission, property, rape and, of course, anal sex all over the place. Some of the premises in the books are so out there I won't even comment on them, as I don't mean to be harsh. My only goal here is to detect elements in those stories that connect to porn. And keep in mind that there are gazillions of similar novels in the mainstream market.
The problem is also that, just like porn, many erotic novels portray actual-life role playing—in which no actual harm is done—as the real thing. So they glorify sexual violence I remember watching the 2014 documentary Kink about the homonymous BDSM porn site kink.com. The pain is real, but they're all very professional and respect the performers' boundaries. There are two things, though. One, performers feel they have to endure as much pain as possible. Two, there are rape scenes in some of the films. The usual yada-yada, the rape occurs and in the end the victim enjoys it (I am so sick of repeating this over and over, it's past getting old).
When you see the shooting, it's clear no harm is done. But when you watch the scene, even though you know it's a performance, it sells you the idea of the real thing: that rape is normalized as something acceptable because it's exciting and the victim likes it. It also reinforces the notion that when a woman says no, she actually means yes because she will eventually enjoy forceful sex. So those films are not selling a fantasy, they're selling an idea. The same goes with erotic novels. And that can be very dangerous.
Even novels without blatant violence such as Burning Offer by Audrey Parker reveal a strong porn influence. Here the heroine literally wet her panties just by looking at the hero. A couple of characters have sex on cue as the guy penetrates her in a rough way (apparently, it's the only way to penetrate a woman these days). A girl screams she wants the guy to come all over her face. The hero ejaculates on the heroine's back over her dress, and later he threatens to stick his cock down her throat and "fuck it" until she learns to listen.
To fuck a woman's mouth. How sweet. As I remember, fellatio used to be a way for a woman to actively pleasure a man, all the while having pleasure in the process of giving. Now, thanks to porn, it has been reduced to "mouth fuck," meaning the woman is again a passive hole and gets nothing out of it except for a sore throat and a very unpleasant chocking session. What was once a sensual expression bonding a woman and a man turned into punishment creating distance. That's how fucked up porn is. That's how it fucks up our sexuality.
YOU ARE READING
Let's Talk About...
Non-FictionI have been thinking a lot about sex. I concluded it's something like Disney meets BDSM meets education. Here I'm going to show you how sex in our culture is shaping who you are. I felt compelled to share this collection of my blog posts on Wattpad...
