Best Friends? (Camila/You)

Part 15

Best Friends? - Part 15

This past week has possibly been the hardest week of my entire life, I haven't seen passed the 4 walls of Sinuhe's hospital room for the last 2 days. Everything is just continuously getting harder, Camila can barely talk and when she does she only speaks to me no one else. She just sits in the chair by her mothers bed and watches on while I watch Camila, unlike Camila Alejandro and Sofi have been in and out but they spend hours on end at the hospital sitting with Sinuhe but I can tell that spending so much time here was starting to ware them down.

Camila on the other hand never left, she couldn't, she refused to leave she wanted to spend as much time with her mom as possible and no one was going to argue that. I could tell though that it was wearing her down too, and I got worried about her constantly. I would bring Camila food and coffee to make sure that she had enough energy, she would always give me a thankful look, or a kiss and smile but I could still see how broken she was no matter how hard she tried to cover it up.

Every night Camila and I would go out into the waiting room while Sinuhe slept and tried to sleep ourselves, Camila would cry herself to sleep every night while lying in my arms and it broke my heart more and more every time. She would cry for hours on end as I just laid there not being able to find the words to comfort her, I felt like I wasn't being beneficial but at the end of the night when she curled up into me and fell asleep with her head on my chest I knew that this was exactly what she needed. No words could ever express how much I wanted to take away her pain and a part of me likes to believe I made her feel somewhat better but Camila never spoke about it, she didn't speak about her feelings or what was going through her head she kept to herself and it worried me that she was bottling all of this inside. I would try and tell her that she could talk to me but she just shook her head and buried her head into my shoulder, I would sigh but I couldn't force her too talk, not when she's so close to losing the woman who gave her life.

While I was taking care of Camila trying to make sure that she knew she was being loved and comforted I forgot about my own feelings, I would constantly try to hide my own emotions not showing that Sinuhe's state was taking this huge toll on my heart and it was becoming hard to handle but then I would think of Camila again and I would swallow all of my own pain so I could take on Camila's. It was through all this pain, heartbreak and sadness that I realized that Camila was the love of my life and after all that we've been through I would never leave her, I knew I would end up spending the rest of my life with this girl and I was going to make sure that she got through this no matter how hard it would be.

Camila's presence made me feel a lot better with everything that was going on, as long as I had her in my arms every night I felt relieved and so did she, I could tell by the way she immediately relaxed in my embrace and even though she never said how she was feeling I knew that holding her made her feel somewhat content.

Today was a day where I literally just sat in a waiting room chair and thought, I thought about everything but mostly about Sinuhe and Camila. Camila was in Sinuhe's room talking to her while I patiently waited outside, I thought about how hard it was going to be for Camila and her family when Sinuhe couldn't hold on anymore it sickened me to see Camila in a worse state than she is now. Sinuhe explained to me that there was no hope of a recovery and the more time that went on the more scared I got that today could be the day we lose her. I couldn't imagine the pain Camila would be feeling with the loss of her mother, I couldn't imagine a world without mine and just the thought made me want to vomit.

I thought about how much time it would take for Camila, Sofi and Alejandro to move forward but then again how is it possible to move forward after losing someone with so much importance, who is supposed to be there for every little step in there lives and having to feel the absence of them everyday I didn't think it was possible, I swallowed hard at the thought. Camila and Sofi would be without a Mother someone who's supposed to love and cherish you and be there for you for everything, but Alejandro, Alejandro would be out the love of his life. I cringed at the thought, Alejandro would be losing the only person that held his heart and I couldn't help but think about what would happen if I lost Camila like this. I don't think I could survive.