Types of bras. I own one of each hehe...!
Work horse: the favorite bra you wear every day forever until it literally falls apart.
Bat bra: the bra whose effects on your cleavage break every known law of physics.
The vise: crushes your boobs, and your soul. Mostly your boobs.
The deceiver. (Lays chips bra): makes your boobs look five times bigger than they actually are.
Sir-pokes-a-lot: the bra with a sharp, badly lined underwire that causes unavoidable injuries whenever you wear it.
Heavy hitter: overwires, underwires, a five-pronged hydraulic clasp system, and straps thick enough to choke a donkey.
The aspirational bra: purchased accidentally, and a full cup size too big, yet you keep it around in the hopes of giving your boobs something to strive for.
The interloper: you don't recognize it, you never bought it, and it's not yours, but you wear it anyway.
The useless boob bedazzler: no support, no lift, no function, but it's so PRETTY!
The great descender: the strapless bra, which, no matter how tightly you cinch it, always wriggles down to your waist within five minutes of leaving the house.