But as I stated earlier I don't care if you believe me or not but I KNOW what I saw.
That incident... that thing... changed me forever! And to this day I have trouble sleeping and will turn every light on around my house if I hear something I can't identify or if I get an overwhelming feeling of fear.
Sometimes I have to take sleeping pills to sleep and anxiety medication for the panic attacks.
I watch my surroundings, especially at night.
And I don't hunt or camp alone. I don't camp often at all.
I'm very cautious and I've always kept big dogs... Rottweiler's. Infact this is the first time I haven't had a dog in many years but I plan on changing that soon.
I always carry a gun or have one close by. Although I doubt a gun could stop what I saw that night if it truly wanted you. But I'd rather have it than not.
My ex-husband, who was one of the very few people I trusted my story with, even had me a silver bullet made.
No I don't believe what I encountered was the mythical werewolf of Hollywood so no I don't think silver would kill it, but it did make me feel better and I know my ex did that so I'd know he really did believe me.
I've always been accused of being paranoid and afraid of the dark. And I guess I am... I tell people I'm not afraid of the dark but afraid of WHAT'S IN the dark.
AndI have good reason to be.
I don't isolate myself by any means but I don't do things I consider stupid either... Like walk down a desolate road at night alone or hear a strange noise and grab a gun to go investigate alone.
And for years I tried to suppress it and pretend it didn't really happen but I think it made things worse.
When I finally got old enough to finally say ok this really did happen and its OK to admit it and believe it I started feeling alittle better. Although I still feel very alone in the matter.
I started writing fictional stories about a werewolves to help me cope because unfortunately this isn't something you can share with other people, even people very close to you usually.
Most people are going to laugh at you and ridicule you. Saying you imagined it or it was probably some type of animal and you were so young and scared that you misidentified it.
Trust me when I tell you that there is NO WAY to misidentify this creature.
Some people are starting to come forward with their own stories for wolfmen too but it is few and far between.
When I do find the occasional person to say they saw one too it helps tremendously!!!
It's so hard living with what I saw and having few to share it with that won't think you're a complete nutcase.
The nightmares can be overwhelming. And I suffer with alot of anxiety over my incident.
I also have so many unanswered questions... Like what are they really? How many exist? Are they in packs or loner's? And why me?
What I don't understand the most though is why that creature didn't just break the glass that night?
It was intelligent enough to lift a car door handle and fiddle with the trunk but it didn't think to break the glass???
I've asked myself that question hundreds of times.
And why did it run away like that? If could've had us all for a midnight snack???
I hope through talking to others, researching and writing I can learn more about these creatures. If anything I hope it'll help me to cope better with my situation.
Well you too have now heard my story and whether you believe it or not is up to you.
Unfortunately for me I have no choice but to believe it and deal with it in some way, shape or form everyday for the rest of my life.
Wolfmen are a part of my reality whether I like it or not.