The Cowboy

Chapter Twenty-Four: I Do

"Dry lightning cracks across the skies. Those storm clouds gather in her eyes. Her daddy was a mean old mister, mama was an angel in the ground. The weatherman called for a twister, she prayed blow it down. There's not enough rain in Oklahoma, to wash the sins out of that house. There's not enough wind in Oklahoma, to rip the nails out of the past."

I was sitting in the rocking chair in the baby room, with Tony in my lap and Bentleigh on the floor. The radio was turned up to my favorite country station. I figured if I had to watch the babies, I might as well start them on good music!

Lately, I had a lot on my mind. A lot of it was regret. About my past and all that I had ever done to hurt anyone that I loved. It was hard. It was really hard to go on and try to live life like I had once known. In complete honesty, I thought that Jason and I would have been together forever. And I could still make that happen. He was back at home, waiting for me to let him into our unborn childrens' lives. But, ultimately, that's not what I want. I don't want the easy way out because I want to be able to choose my own options; love who I want to love. And Jason just isn't that anymore. 

I don't consider myself myself a floozy. I slept with 2 guys in under a year, but compared to my old friends, that's nothing. I still regretted it. Day after day. But I wouldn't have my babies if it weren't for that first mistake. And I wouldn't have realized just how easily I fall in love, had it not been for Preston. Alas, I don't regret that one either. 

"Jess-SEE"

I jumped a bit in the rocker. Bentleigh was sitting on the floor with a pink plastic block in the corner of her mouth. She took it out for only a second before she repeated my name. "Jessie!" she screeched with laughter.

"B-Bentleigh!" I half-laughed, as I sat in awe. My name was the first word she ever spoke. Bentleigh grinned as if she knew she had done something good.

"You are a silly little goober. And your mama's gonna be jealous when she finds out what you did."

Bentleigh kind of cocked her head to the side before returning to her ever so important task of chewing on her block. My eyes lowered to my lap and to my baby brother. His skin was a bit darker than mine (I was really pale) and his eyes were still so beautiful. He was going to be a womanizer. And I'd have to make absolute certain that he learned from my mistake and wouldn't impregnate someone and end up in my shoes. His birth may have been an accident, but yet it brought my parents back together. And for that, I was happy. I still hadn't quite gotten over when my father hit me but Bailey swore not to mention it and I sure as heck wasn't going to. I mean, sure, I had been forced to sell my horses due to him, but he's still letting me keep Gus. And I hadn't been expecting that at all. We're going to start afresh. In that big old house in town. It's going to be a great new life. 

Tony began to stir a bit so I stuck his binky into his mouth. He immediately quieted down, though I rocked him back and forth all the same.

My phone suddenly vibrated in my pocket and his eyes scrunched up in an instant. I groaned as I pulled the crappy phone from my pocket.

"Hello?" I asked after placing the phone to my ear.

"Hey Jessica!" Mike's voice brightly said. "You're watching the kids, right?"

"Uh, yeah?" I said. He and Julie left for town a couple hours ago and my father drove Bailey to town a while after that, to fix up some stuff in our new house. I think he felt Bailey and I were getting a bit too close. I don't know if I agreed with that. And mom was napping on the couch as she still didn't feel quite up to going out of the house. Especially on Christmas day!

"Well I have a favor to ask. Promise you'll keep it a secret?"

"Of course!" I said. Over the next 5 minutes, he explained his plan and I couldn't help but grin throughout it all.