Torn Apart (A Kylo Ren x Reader)

Chapter 1

You had been part of the Resistance for over a year now. It hadn't taken long for you to decide that you wanted to put your life on the line to help save the people you loved.
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You smile as your best friend Poe comes running, embracing you in a a hug. " Oh! I've missed you so much, there's so much to tell you!" You let out a small laugh. Poe had been gone for quite a long time now, he had been on a mission to find a map to Luke Skywalker. Though things turned for the worst when he got captured by the First Order.

When the news had been shared, your heart shattered and it felt empty. "What if they kill him, what if I never see him again?" You had said to yourself. Every night, your dreams consisted of your friend. The both of you, piloting the magnificent X-Wing Fighters. But those dreams lasted shortly as nightmares replaced them quickly filling your thoughts with dreadful images of the death of your friend....

"I'm so happy to see you again y/n, I've waited for this day from the first moment I left" Poe says taking in a deep breath. Sweat filled his brow and you could tell by the look in his eyes that he craved sleep. "Go. Rest. We can chat in the morning" you say, adding in a sweet smile. With a small "thank you" he hugs you tightly and leaves to his room. 

The sun was soon to set as you watched the sky change from a brilliant blue to a soft purple/pink color. Its been a long time since you have fully enjoyed yourself, so long ago you could hardly remember. As the warm air turns to a crisp cool breeze, you decide to head inside. You slowly dawdle towards your room, still relieved to see Poe again. 

You turn down the vast corridors and notice Han and Leia speaking in a rather hushed tone. "Han? Leia?" They both cock their heads in your direction and greet you with a warm smile. They had become your family ever since tragedy struck and you were left alone to defend for yourself. Your parents had been taken away from you at a young age and you never knew why. Though you always awaited their return, you knew in your heart that you'd never lay eyes on them again. 

"Y/n! It's lovely to see you. Are you heading off to bed?" Leia says sweetly. Even though you were now turning 19, they still treated you like such a young kid and in all honesty you really didn't mind all that much. "Yes I am going to bed, I'm quite tired." You say scratching the back of your head. They both say their goodnights and Leia gives you a soft kiss on your forehead. 

Once arriving to your room, you swiftly change into more comfortable clothing, putting on a soft cotton shirt and a pair of shorts. You lay out blankets and fix your pillows so you can sleep soundly. As soon as your head hits your pillow you quickly give away to the sleep that you craved so much...

You're laying in a dark room, chained to a vertical table. Your head is pounding and beads of sweat drip off your brows. "Did you really think you could forget about me?" a smooth voice asks. You struggle to release yourself from the restraints but it's useless. The dark figure moves closer, bringing with it the feeling of darkness and also loneliness. "Give in to the darkness, you serve no purpose living in the light. Come with me and we can be together again." It swiftly waves its hand across you head and you plunge into darkness. The feeling of falling surrounds you and strikes fear into your heart until *bam*

You wake up panting and crying at the same time. Tears fell from your eyes leaving stains across your cheeks. "Ben.." is all you manage to say. The dream had frightened you for you knew who the figure in the darkness was, it was the person you dreaded most, the person you wished to never lay eyes on again but yet somehow you couldn't help but still love him in a strange way. 

---5 years ago---

"Come on now, there's no reason to be Mr. Grumpy Pants" you say laughing as you pull the young Ben Solo to his feet. "Leave me alone Y/N I don't feel like going out today" he whines. You pay no heed to his whines and complaining. You drag him across the courtyard and onto a small bed of flowers. Bees buzzed and the birds chirped overhead. "Now isn't this nice?" a smile grows across your cheeks as you hear Ben mumble a small "yes" 

You had liked Ben since the day you first laid eyes on him. He was different but in such a good way that you couldn't help but fall in love with him. Over the years the two of you grew close, so close in fact that you did anything and everything together. 

"Ben?" you start, your voice suddenly begins to waver. "Our training is almost over you know, I've overheard Luke saying that it's almost time for us to leave." Although this didn't seem like such a big deal, it was. If training was over, the both of you could be separated and it tore you heart to think like that. "Will you promise that we will stay together, no matter what?" you ask him softly. He sends a small smile your way. "Of course, we'll always have each other. Nothing will ever happen to that, I promise." With that he leaned his head towards you and placed a light kiss on your lips making that promise unbreakable.

A few months later, your worst nightmare came to life as you watched all your friends die in front of your eyes. The courtyard had gone up in flames and all around you disaster struck. "Ben!" you yell out into the open but no one replies. You frantically search for anyone that could still possibly be alive, carefully dodging falling stone that was now coming off the buildings that had started to crumble.

Upon arriving in the main hall you notice a tall dark figure standing at the end of the room. "Ben? Is that you?" hoping with everything you had left that it was him, he turned around and showed his face. You run to him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. "We have to get out of here" you cough out. The smoke from the fire had began to set in causing the air to become thick. "Come with me Y/N, I have somewhere safe that we can go. We can continue our training and grow stronger in the force." "Ben, what are you taking about? Where are you talking about?" 

He looks down at you but his face looked distorted in the dense smoke. His eyes became dark and lifeless "the First Oder...that's where." You step back now confused and slightly scared. "Please..tell me you are not responsible for all this" you spread your arms out, showing the disaster around you. "I had to, I did it for us! We can now go and receive the proper training we should've gotten long ago. It will be our new home" He said so steadily 

Your heart races as you make several paces back. "No, no, no. This isn't right, this isn't you. Your a monster! You've killed everyone we have grown to know!" you shout, tears now streaming down your eyes. "I'm sorry" is the last thing you say before running out, leaving it all behind you. You hear Ben shouting curses into the sky but you continue to run and you don't ever stop. 

---The Present---

You had decided to meet up with Poe and tell him about the dream you had in the previous night. "Poe..it was him. It was Ben" you had told him of the story countless times, he knew of all the emotions and feelings that went through your mind when you thought of Ben. "Why now? Why all of a sudden?" he questions. "I don't know, my only guess is you coming back. Maybe something triggered it..?" You sit back sighing loudly. "What do I do?" "I wish I could tell you Y/N I really do, but I just don't have the answers for this one." "Thank you for listening" you say, giving him a gentle hug. You lay in his arms for awhile, enjoying every moment you could. 

"Come to the dark side, you serve no purpose living in the light."