Chapter 16

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Samson

I check my email and there's an invitation to a police ball next month. It says that I can bring three people with me. I already know that Brock, Mel and Carmen are coming with me. I call Mel and let her know about it. Then I call Carmen and ask her to come with me. She accepts and I'm excited for that evening to come.

I'm standing in front of our closet looking inside when my phone rings. "Hello," I answer, not looking at who is on the other end. "Hey Samson. What are you doing?" Melanie asks. "I'm looking inside of the closet thinking about when I'll be ready to give her things away." I decide to be honest.

"I think you are ready if you're looking in your closet thinking that." Her voice comes to me over the phone. "I know it's hard, but I really think it's time. Do you want me to get the girls together and we can come over to help you?"

I contemplate what she says for a minute. What does that mean if I'm ready to go through her things? Will it erase her from my life? I don't want her gone from me forever. Will that happen? "Samson? Are you there?" She brings me back to the present. "Let me call you back. Five minutes. I promise." I tell her. "If I don't hear from you in five minutes, I'll show up at your doorstep." She pledges.

"I will call you back. Go ahead and call the girls and be ready for me to call back in a few minutes." I promise her. "Okay, talk to you in a few." She says before disconnecting.

I pull up Robin in my contacts and press her name. The phone rings a couple of times before she picks up, "Hi Samson. How are you today?"

"Hi Robin. Do you have about five minutes?" I ask. "I'll do you one better, I have ten minutes." She answers. "Thanks, I'll only need five." I dive right in, "I'm going to go through Chloe's things today. I'm scared that if I remove her things from the house, I'll be removing her from my life permanently."

"Samson, let me ask you a question. When you leave the house, do you stop thinking about Chloe?"

"I don't." I acknowledge. "That's because you feel her in your heart. Her presence isn't dependent on things and places, it's about your memories and how you felt about her. You can remove places and things all day long, but you can't remove what's in your heart. If you are considering it, then it's time to do it. Pick a couple of things of hers that you can have to hold onto and the rest, you need to give it away or sell it." She says.

I stand there lost in thought until I hear the phone beep in my ear. I look down and it's Melanie calling me back. "Thanks for talking to me Robin. I just needed a sounding board. I'm going to go through her things today. I have some help."

"No problem. Call me after you finish and we can talk some more." Robin offers before disconnecting. Melanie has hung up the phone, so I call her back before she's knocking on the door. "You said five minutes!" She states. "It took a little longer, so what?" I answer. "Whatever. So what are we doing?" She asks.

"Call the girls, but don't call Carmen and I'm tempted to tell you not to call Brianne, but I think this will help her to get some closure also." I instruct. "Why not Carmen?" She asks. "Because this will give her a headache and I don't want her to suffer trying to help me."

"Okay. We'll be over in twenty." She disconnects and I start with the baby's room. It's clean because I have managed to keep it clean along with the rest of the house. I find that cleaning is therapeutic for me. It kept me from going crazy when I started to finally get out of bed and move around town again.

I open the drawers and pull out the baby clothes that we brought while Chloe was pregnant and things we received from her baby shower and lovingly placed them on top of the bare mattress in the crib. I pull the toys and the box that I had specially made for them out to the middle of the floor. About that time, I hear the girls walk inside, "Where are you?" I hear Melanie yell. "In the baby's room." I answer loudly.

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