My Stepdad, Billie Joe Armstrong (Daughter of Rage and Love)

I Lock Myself Inside my Room, I WANNA BE ALONE!

In the middle of some awkward silence my mom's face suddenly lit up like a Christmas tree and she said to Billie, "My birthday is coming up and you're invited to the yearly bowling party,"

I spit my water all over Billie and gaped at my mom. The yearly bowling party was the one thing we all did when my dad was alive. My mom would invite all our closest friends and reserve a bowling room for her birthday.

But this tradition stopped when my father died - we did try holding one birthday party but it ended with everyone looking like they were in shambles from grief and at the end of the day, before I went to sleep, I could hear my mom crying in her bedroom.

And now, this little douche is trying to replace my dad. And my mom is helping him. Well, good luck with that because I'm not letting that happen.

"Hope!" she said, looking baffled at the Billie who was too busy wiping at his face with a napkin.

"Why don't you hold him the birthday party too? We used to do that on dad's birthday, if you remember who he was," I said as sarcastically sweetly as I could.

My mom looked at me and then said, "That seems like a good idea,"

"Too bad you'll spend more money on the candles than the cake," I muttered.

"Hope! Would you ever be more mature? Act your age for once," my mom exclaimed.

"Well, if I told him to act his age, he wouldn't be here, disrupting our lives. He'll be peacefully sleeping, maybe a little chilly being 6 feet under-" I started.

"Oh dear Jesus forgive her soul," my mother exclaimed.

I folded my hands together and looked up at the ceiling, imaging God sitting up there and looking down at me with disapproval while mom stared at me, speechless. Billie on the other hand, was trying very hard to hold back his laughter.

"What's gotten into you lately? I'm trying very hard to just have a normal family dinner and you're ruining it," my mom said.

"Not trying to rain on your parade or anything but if you haven't noticed, we hadn't had a family dinner since 5 years ago and he-" I pointed to Billie, who looked up from his food at me, curiously, "is not part of the family and never will be. In your head, sure, but never in mine,"

Before my mom could say anything, I got up and said, "I'll be upstairs, I'm not hungry,"

And with my mom yelled something unintelligible after me, I sprinted up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and came to a halt outside my room. Glancing behind me, I saw that my mom didn't follow me, but now, Billie's voice mixed in with my mom's loud yelling. In a space of a minute he was able to quiet her down, and I heard his quiet voice talking sense into her.

Edging closer to the staircase, I eavesdropped.

"Calm down, she just needs time to adjust to this new change. Stop pressuring her - I know just what she feels like and she doesn't need any of that shit now. I'm gonna y'know, go talk to her, maybe get her to calm down a little and eat something if you don't mind," he said as I heard his chair scrape against the floor.

That's when I tiptoed back to my room and slammed the door shut to show I didn't need anyone's advice or presence as of right now. I couldn't lock it, thanks to my mom's policy against locks, so Billie could freely walk in if he wanted to.

But even as I laid down on the bed, I heard Billie's timid knocking at my door.

Guess my plan didn't work.