"Page 4 and 5," she breathed, shaking her head, "Double page spread. You might want to show it to Harry."
Louis unfolded the sheets cautiously and winced as he turned the pages and set eyes on the headline. I approached from across the room, having heard my name. To be honest the minute Brenda opened her mouth lately I knew it was going to be about me. I was all over the bloody place, with the obvious scandal. She didn't know what to do with me at this point.
"What is it?" I asked slowly, fear seeping through my veins. I was terrified of what I'd face; more rumours, people trying to tear us apart. People claiming Tamara was lying, that I was lying, that I had cheated or was pretending....anyone with an imagination could say whatever they wanted to a magazine about me and get paid because every journalist was dying for a scoop on the Harry Styles/Tamara Gold lovechild.
When he twisted the paper towards me, I felt sick. The face that loomed on the page was familiar, and despite the fact that I hadn't known him very well and had come to despise him, it still hurt that he'd betrayed me once again. It was Josh. Staring deep into the camera lens, eyes glazed with petty sadness.
"WHO'S THE DADDY?" it read. Well, not the most creative headline by any means but there was me sure enough wearing the t-shirt earlier in the month. I'd brought that cliché title on myself I thought with a bitter smirk.
"What a prick," Louis immediately began shooting off, "releasing a story after everything we did for him!"
I shook my head weakly, eyes scanning the page. I swallowed back the bile rising in my throat, feeling that stabbing pain in the centre of my chest that I'd come to call heartache. When you felt so sad, so alone, so let down that the misery physically hurt you. That was how I felt right now; sad, alone, betrayed. I tried not to blame her, but I couldn't deny that every time I saw his face it brought back the image of her that was burned into my brain...of his hands all over her. His filthy, scumbag hands. And it made me want to vomit.
"Just ignore him, Haz." Louis continued his pointless ranting which I guessed was for my sake rather than his own. "Don't even read it, he doesn't deserve your attention."
I pulled the paper from his grip forcefully, setting it out on the table in front of me to read in complete disregard for his advice. I didn't know whether it was the vigour I used to take it from him or the deathly look on my face, but he didn't argue with me. I wanted to know what the bastard had to say at the very least, although I could just about guess. He was claiming it was his. I winced at the thought alone; it felt like a knife in my side.
'...Tamara texted me asking to meet up. We ended up having mind-blowing sex, initiated by her. She told me to call her Tammy..."
I exhaled sharply, scraping my hands through my hair as I forced myself to read on, to at least soak in the gist of the article. I was aware of the eyes on me, everyone in the room watching cautiously to gauge my reaction. Holding their breaths to see if I'd go crazy. I hated having them here, all of a sudden. I wanted to be alone to process this.
'I think her and Harry were experiencing a bit of a rough patch; they weren't getting on and that's why she came to me..."
Good, I thought righteously, at least he had that much correct. She hadn't gone in search of him out of any sort of lust or desire; she was just in a bad place. We were in a bad place, I reminded myself. It wasn't because she didn't want me, and I shouldn't blame her. I didn't blame her.
'She would be around 18 weeks gone, and that is how long ago we were together. I'm demanding a paternity test because I deserve the right to know whether the child is mine. I truly believe that Harry could simply be adamant that it's his without knowing the black and white truth of who the father is. He could be in denial, but either way I believe there's a chance that it's mine.'
chapter 24
Start from the beginning
