He He He

He he he (19): Calculate The Date And More!

He he he (19): Calculate The Date and More!

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On Tuesday the 23rd of August...

Bilha: One of you is drunk!

Stacey: IT'S IMAN, I SWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iman: NOT THIS TIME! ONLY ON TUESDAY!!!!!!!

Stacey: BUT YESTERDAY WAS TUESDAY! SO YOU'RE HANGOVER!!! Wait...

Iman: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Everyone knows it's Saturday Stacey. Which means that we're in the month of Summer... Duh...

Stacey: Yeah, but we're on the South of Summer because we're about to go to school... But we're in Central Kenya... Does anyone have a protractor?!

Iman: *LMFAO-ing*

*****

Stacey: I've found peace and harmony.

Iman: I've been looking for those dudes, man

Stacey: They're behind you dude.

Iman: I FOUND THEM!

TV, Phone :D

Bliss#

*****

Try it; It actually works!!! :D :D

1. Hold your breath for one day.

2. Die

*****

Girl: I'm having heart surgery today. :'(

Boy: I know.

Girl: I love you! <3

Boy: I love you more, much more! <3 :'(

-- After surgery, when the girl woke up, only her father was next to her bed.--

Girl: Where is he?

Father: You don't know who gave you the heart?

Girl: What? *She starts crying* :'(

Father: I'm just kidding, he went to the toilet. :D :P

*****

They should have played along, like this:

Girl: What? *starts crying* :’(

Father: I'm sorry baby girl...

-- After she recovers.--

Girl: *watching TV* *hears knock* *gets the door*

Boy: Sup. *kisses her cheek*

Girl: B-but you're like, d-d-dead...

Boy: Hey, *puts hands up in defense* so my lil’ sis is a bit... ambitious with her glitter glue... But still!

*****

I went to a Sandwich shop and they asked me to write my name down for when it was ready. I wrote ‘Lord Voldemort’ and the cashier said, "The Sandwich of the one who shall not be named is ready."

*****

I am twenty years old and I can't get a better job than at a fast food place; it's the only place that'll hire a high school graduate. I am socially awkward and my only co-worker hates me. I would complain, but my boss only cares about money. I would leave, but I can't pass my driver’s test or any other test for that matter. I am in love with one of my best friends. She's a smart, athletic, gorgeous southern belle. But I'm stuck in the friend zone. My only other friend is this dude. Who I'm pretty sure only talks to me because he's mentally retarded. My pet can't do shit for itself. And to top it off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

*****

Me: Can I use the bathroom, sir?

Teacher: I don't know... can you. :^)

Me: When I was using ‘can’ I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were the teacher, you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom sir?

Teacher:  |-(

Stacey: Imagine trying that on Ms. K!

Iman: DEATH.

Parents: OMG! What happened to our kids?  :O

Ms K: They became a secondary model form of death.

Parents: WHAT?

Ms K: No engrish. *shakes hand back and forth*

Stacey: Dude, you sound just like Iman.

Ms K: *starts sweating* *resisting the urge to say 'dude man'* 'Dude'?! What kind of impoverished language is that? Try be English, like me African children.

Sharon: Yup, it's Iman all right.

Ms K: GO TO THE KITCHEN!

Sharon: It's uncanny...

Ms K: *couldn't resist* Is it also unBOTTLEy? :D OH NO! IT’S HAPPENING!!

Stacey: Lame jokes... Check... Now all we need is—

Ms K: I’VE GONE TO CRY...

Stacey: Definitely Iman...

Iman: Hello year nine... Is this Ajuongs class? 9A? Prince! I thought you were intelligent! Muthandi good point! Hahaha Nikki! Now... The guillotine was... WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME FOR? GET YOUR NOTES DOWN! The lack of manners... Homework due on Monday... Class dismissed.

Stacey: O___o

Sharon: O___o

Janet: Problems…

*****

LD = Little Digga = Stacey

TD = Tall Digga = Iman

DD = Drunk Digga = Sharon

FD = Funny Digga = Janet

TSD = These Strings Digga = Hona

CD = Cripsy Digga = Trevor

DTD = Duck Tard Digga = Bilha