In My Time Of Need (Destiel)

Chapter 7: Settling

The sun set a few hours back and we were finally pulling over from driving on the highway all night. I stopped at a motel and ordered a room. I covered Sam in a blanket from the motel room and put him on my shoulder. He weighed a ton which didn’t help due to the fact that I was already exhausted. But I held onto him and dealt with his weight step by step. I laid him out on the bed farthest from the door. I brought in the duffle bag and locked the doors to the impala. I closed the motel door behind me and shut the windows close. I sighed and demon proofed the room. I consistently refused to make eye contact with Sam’s body. It was such a painful sight and I didn’t how much more pain I would be able to take. When I felt more comfortable with the room I walked into the bathroom and put my hands on the sides of the sink. I looked in the mirror. The bags under my eyes were darker than usual and puffy from the unusual crying I had been doing. As short as my hair was, it was going in all sorts of directions. I really looked terrible but it I didn’t find that very surprising.

I walked away from the sink and ran the water in the shower waiting for it to turn hot and steamy. I took off my clothes throwing them into a corner. I got into the shower and sat under the water. The heat felt nice but it only made me more tired than before. As I closed my eyes I began thinking of earlier. 'This is the second time' I thought to myself. 'He was your responsibility and you didn't even demon proof the room'. I began having flashbacks of Castiel in purgatory. Kevin and Linda at the old abandoned home. Of Sam struggling in the chair he was tied up to. Of Crowley... 'Stop' I told myself rubbing my face. I washed myself and got out of the shower. The bathroom steam was heavy but I didn't mind. I'm not sure if I really cared about anything right now.

I threw on my pants and a basic navy blue shirt. I put on black socks and rubbed my still wet hair once again before throwing the towel in my pile of dirty clothes. I brushed my teeth and headed out the bathroom. The only light I had on was coming from the bathroom so the room seemed pitch black.

I scratched the back of my head as I walked with my hands out over to the dresser trying to keep quiet. I hesitated before turning on the light looking over at Sam's bed cautiously. The light flickered on and my face dropped. When he didn’t flinch it only reminded me that he wasn’t with me anymore. His skin had already grown pale and it made me feel sick. I was the older brother; I shouldn’t live to see my brother die.

I looked away from him not being able to take it anymore. I walked away from the bed and sat down at the small table in the motel where I placed the laptop. I opened it up and began my research. Luckily I knew what was out there; I knew someone could bring him back.