When we're 19.

Chapter 16.

CHAPTER 16.

"It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt."  

― Tom Gates             

BETH'S P.O.V.

"Oh god, Harry." I lost it. I had lost it now. I was getting mad because I was so hurt by now.

"Can't you even watch a fucking movie?" I finally stood up, trying to keep myself from breaking in front of them. They both stop, slowly looking towards me. "God dammit." I groan, stomping out of the living room. I could feel the pair of eyes on my back but I just hope none on them is coming after me.

My vision is slightly blurry as I blink my eyes multiple times to let the tears fall down. Bursting into the kitchen, I start to helplessly search for some bottles of beer. I yank the door open and slam them shut after not finding the subject I intend. I slam my palm on my temple in annoyance. I need one bottle of that so I can keep my shit together.

Some sense was knocked in me after smacking my palm, I walked towards the refrigerator. There stood 6 bottles of beer making my nerves relax for a moment. I grab 3 of them, leaving the others for later. I'm unaware of my own intentions by now.

I quickly rush outside the kitchen and made my way upstairs. Small tears rolling down on my way to the room. Slamming the door shut, I press my back behind the wooden door letting all the tears fall out freely. It hurts so much more. Why?

I walk towards the trace, falling on the couch. My legs were pressed to my chest as I let it all out. You know, If you keep it in it will feel worst and if you let it out maybe you'll feel slightly better than before.

The bottle is popped open before coming in contact with my lips. I gulped the cool liquid, the liquid bursting in my brain somehow. It felt good, better than a broken heart......Broken heart? Right!

Why am I so hurt? Why do I hate seeing him with her? Why do I care so much? I don't like him. I don't like him? Do I like him? I don't! I never did! I never will!

Shut up Beth! Stop it. Stop lying to yourself. You've been lying to yourself since the day he came in the class, since the day he smiled at you and you couldn't help but fall for that beautiful dimpled smile. You lied to yourself every day and look what it got you to. Crying in this trace on this couch with 3 bottles of beer ready to get wasted while he...he is sitting down there with the person he deserves.

You were such a fucking bitch to him do you know that Beth? You kept telling yourself not to like him, not to fall for him & the best you found to follow that was to ignore him. You were so oblivious to him while all he took every chance he got to ask you, to talk to you and you...you just rejected him every time. You always broke him, broke his hope.

Why?

Well, you have to make an ass reputation in the school. You only cared about your esteem, and your prestige. You never even thought of getting to know him better. You just judged him for his dorky looks right? You were just embarrassed being with the 'nerd'. You called other people heartless and cold and many other words, but guess what? You are worse than them.

My subconscious is screaming at me, making me cry harder. Heavy sobs escaped my mouth as I sniffed. I took the last sip of the liquid before tossing it on the floor. The glass broke into pieces as I lightly jump. That is exactly how my heart looks, just like that. Broken into pieces.

I swear I had been regretting everything since those past years. The past used to hunt me at the mention of Harry's name. I used to tell myself that I'll pay for this one day. I used tell myself that Karma is a bitch, but it isn't a bigger bitch than you are. But god am I the most selfish person in this world.

I can't stand seeing Harry with her. I just can't see someone else in my place. I can't bear seeing, or even thinking, the touches Harry's hand will make on her skin. How she'll enjoy her moments instead of me. Fuck, now I know how Harry had felt, how broken he was when Chad was with me. Now I know why he was so hurt. I can't believe myself! What was I even thinking?

Even after Harry saved me from -god knows what Chad would have done to me-. I knew I was falling for him that night.

Correction, you were falling for his changed look, not him. This explains everything. I was blind before, like when he had no looks. I didn't care about him; I didn't even give myself a chance to look at him. The him inside.

The feeling inside had so much pain in it. I don't know how much more will this invisible hole grow or how much more my heart can bare this pain. But I never imagined this pain. I used watch it in the movies, seeing them cry over a boy or a girl. I did felt sorry but no one knows the pain better than them. And right at this moment I realize how much it hearts seeing the person you like so much now falling for someone else. It's the worst feeling. So so so much worst.

I had drunk the 3 bottles, and my head is pounding. Yeah, so I had 3 bottles of beer, got kinda wasted, cried my hearts out, and admitted that I had feelings for him since the start. Now what? What do I get?

Nothing.

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This was supposed to be a part of the last chapter. hehe.

I told you tomread the chapter 7, 8, 9 from the star because I edited it. I just got lost into the drama so much that I forgot about the bet. I did not planned this book to be this long.

Going to update on Monday. hopefully. :* 

And Another world 2 will be update tomorrow.  

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