Chapter 36: Rejected
Feeling all the pain, Kyungsoo was right. We really did used each other to forget about our past. Nakahanap ako ng mapagtataguan kay Kyungsoo. Nakahanap ako ng panakip sa lahat ng sakit. I found comfort in him but if it didn't happened, hindi sila magkakabalikan ni Jongin. Ang daming nadamay. Pinaglaruan kami lahat ng tadhana pero kailangan kong isalba ang pamilya ko sa kahit anong paraan.
"I can't believe you did that, Chanyeol. I never thought you can be this cruel. San na yung korning asawa ko? Yung mahilig mangalabit? My husband who don't care about the people around us, he just want to show the world how much he loves me and how much he loves this family. Sinira mo lahat. Ikaw ang sumira sa atin!" aniya.
Hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Baekhyun at hinila sya papalapit sa akin. Agad ko syang niyakap. He's resisting but then, I didn't let him go. Slowly, my stupidity is slapping me hard in the face. This is the consequences of what I did.. of being a fool.. for believing my brother's set up instead of Baekhyun. Fuck. I should've listened to him.. only to his words but I was too busy pushing it out of my head.
Ang katotohanan na dapat pinaniwalaan ko. Only Baekhyun's words. Hinigpitan ko ang yakap ko sa kanya kahit pinipilit na nyang makawala. "even if I say sorry, I know it won't change a thing, it won't heal the pain, it won't heal your wounded heart but still, I want to say sorry." Narinig ko lalo ang malakas na hikbi ni Baekhyun sa may tenga ko. "For ruining our family. I want to say sorry for being weak when you needed me the most. Ang tanga ko, Baekhyun. Ang tanga tanga ko." I cried.
I felt Jesper's hands wrapped around us.
"Wag na kayo iyak please."
"Jesper anak, umakyat ka na muna sa taas." Baekhyun said wiping his tears. I glanced at Jesper and gave her a nod as I tapped his head. I want to assure him that everything will be alright but how can I do that when I'm not even sure myself. I could feel the arrows pierced through my chest. Lahat ng mga to, ang mga salitang binitawan ko kay Baekhyun noon. Lahat ng masasakit na salitang kinimkim nya at pinagtiisan nya.
Jesper went upstairs, leaving Baekhyun and I in intense silence. "I hold the case." I stated.
"I said give him to me, not hold. Ayokong magkaroon ka pa ng connection sa kanya o sa amin, Park." Baekhyun said fiercely. I bowed my head, he just called me Park. Just Park. Maybe to him, I'm the most disgusting person he desperately wanted to avoid now.
"He's my son too."
"The last time I checked, you're being a father to somebody else's kid, Chanyeol. Jesper is always been waiting for you. I don't want him to wait for an asshole. I want to get rid of you.. out of our lives. Completely." Baekhyun said blisteringly.
"Baekhyun," he cut me off.
"Alam mo bang ang tagal kong hinintay na mangyari to, Chanyeol? Na mauntog ka at malaman mong ang tanga tanga tanga mo talaga. Pero bakit ngayon lang?" he looked at me straight in the eyes. His eyes squeezing shut and tears falling from his cheeks. "Bakit kasi hirap na hirap kang paniwalaan ako? Why..? When all I ever did is.. give you my love. Shit. Ang laki ng tenga mo, para san ba yan? Butas ata ng pwet mo pinapagana mo. Binigay ko sayo lahat, Park Chanyeol at wala akong tinira sa sarili ko. UBOS na UBOS na ako. Alam mo anong natitira sa akin? Galit at sakit. Puno na ako ng galit."
I tried to reach for his hand but he quickly evaded it. Baekhyun moved back with his shoulder loosening and jaw unclenching. I glanced at his hands balled on his lap, he's clenching his fist too hard as if controlling himself from this mixed emotions stirring within him. Anger. Mas nananaig ang galit.