When our lips parted, we locked eyes. Both of us staring deeply, his emerald eyes felt like they were looking right through me. They were so beautiful and mesmerizing, I couldn't help the big smile that spread across my face especially after that kiss. But instead of returning the smile, he frowned. I placed my hand on his cheek tracing the sad lips with my hand not liking the look on him. "What's wrong?" I ask terrified that this was going to end soon.
"I can't do this Rachel." He says dropping his gaze to his lap while I continued to hold his face.
"You know why." He says looking back into my eyes, still the long face.
"Melissa. You don't even like her." I say.
"But I do, we're dating remember." He says and now it seems the frown is contagious.
"I think I might love you Riley." I say in a whisper, our eyes still locked so that I could see his reaction which wasn't much. He held a blank stare.
"How do I know you mean that. You've been so flip floppy. From when you say you don't want me to having sex with me. To you telling me you don't want me again to you need me because your pregnant. To oh it was just a scare and I don't need you in my life to I'm sorry I want to be friends again. You don't understand and I think you never will how much feelings I have for you. They seem to grow every second and you just hurt them. You break me down and you don't even care until you need me again for your benefit. Not mine."
"Riley that was before. But I stopped pushing the feelings away now and I need you, I want you. I feel incomplete without you. I mean it when I say might love you."
"What do you mean by might?"
"I have never been in love before and I don't know what it feels like but if thinking about you all the time especially when I am with other guys and all I can think about is you. Or how much I am angry with Melissa because she gets to have you even though she doesn't deserve you. I don't either, you're much too good for me but I want to build myself up so that I am at the level so that you don't deserve me. Or the fact that I can picture us getting married one day and the kids we would have. I picture the day you made love to me and yes you were right, we didn't have sex, we made love. You were my first everything, kiss and making love and it was so much more special because of you. You have been my bestfriend since we were both in the womb and our parents were bestfriend. Me without you is an abandoned child. Without you, I feel hopeless and that's why I been missing school i don't want to go there and see you and Melissa together. I don't want to go to school and be upset whenever i see you because I can't have you. Because that's the only thing I want. You, i want you." I say in a huge rush and the water works come again. They are worse than they were before which seemed impossible.
"Rachel I'm sorry but I don't want to get hurt again. We can be friends." He says and I feel heartbroken.
I stand up backing away from him attempting to wipe away the never ending tears as I hear him following close behind me. He wraps his arms around me from behind and pulls me into him so that my back is pressed against his chest. It feels so nice but I know it won't last forever nor is it real. "When you love something you're supposed to set it free and if it comes back, you're meant to be."
"Don't you think you should be taking your own advice. You set me free, you moved on and stating dating Melissa and here I am coming back to you and you're not taking me."
"Don't you understand that I never let you go and I never will." He says turning me around pulling me into a tight hug, my face buried in his chest as I clung to him savouring the moment while I could. "I still want to be friends with you. Like we were before." He says as he kisses my hair after I nod my head agreeing with the friend thing.
YOU ARE READING
I love sex. I am addicted to it. I love to watch porn, read books about it, and even hear about it. I love the sensation that runs through my body from just thinking about it and I love the feeling of my soaked panties. Problem is, I have never ever...