Hey loves , I burned myself last night while cooking and so now I've been in pain all day 😔 . I didn't update yesterday because of that & because of school & might not update tomorrow because of school & everything else going on with me but I definitely will on Saturday . I'll be writing a lot on Saturday since I don't work 😌🙌🏼 .
I drive back, too lost in my own thoughts to notice that I'm no longer where I wanted to be.
Conflicting images of both Diyah and Kat play in my head. The two women are nothing alike and yet similar in so many ways.
I hadn't felt the way I felt about Kat until I met Diyah. I thought I had closed the Kat chapter into my life once I joined the mafia but I guess not.
I get out of my car knowing that I drove to Kat's favorite spot ever since she was a child. She raved about how this was her and her father's special spot when she was a kid and after he died it became her favorite spot.
This park meant everything to her and she grew up right up the hill from it.
Meomories come flooding in and as much as I would like to say I don't miss her, I do.
I walk over and sit on the swing. The same swing that I use to push Kat on anytime she ran away from me.
I remember she'd come here and sit on the swings too lost in her thoughts to even notice me coming up behind her. I'd swing her and at first she'd say she wanted me to stop but after she was high enough she'd be giggling about how she wanted me to push her higher.
"Where could you be Kat?" I mutter to myself expecting some sort of answer or for her to pop up out of no where and tell me that it was all a joke. That she left me three years ago to see how long it'd take me to find her or something childish like that.
The park is filled with moms sitting on the benches talking about whatever moms talk about and children playing.
I walk over to the empty swing and sit down on it.
After sulking in the swing by myself for about 30 minutes I finally stand up thinking its time to go home.
Just then I feel a pair of eyes on me and when I look back there's no one there. I continue walking and have to urge to look back and see who's staring at me so hard.
"Just so you know, I've got a gun on me. So either you show yourself or I blow your brains out and see for myself who you are," I say not bothering to turn around.
"I'm sorry," comes a small frail voice and I turn around to be staring at a toddler about 3 or 4. She's got thick brown hair and grey eyes that are the same shade as Kat's.
"Wow, you see her in everyone now," Goes the voice in my head.
I shut it off and pay my attention to the little girl infront of me suddenly realizing that I just threatened to blow a kids brain out.
"Hi there, where's your mommy," I say bending down to her level.
"Mommy says not to talk to strangers," she says scrunching up her nose.
"Well where is your mommy?" I ask not seeing anyone that looks like they could be her mother around here. It's mainly old white women and some teen age mothers. None look like her.
"She went home," she says looking around cluelessly.
"Of course she did," I mutter to myself.
Why have a child if you're not going to look after it? That idea alone irritated the life out of me.
"Where can we find your mommy?" I ask.
"At my house."
"Okay, and where is your house?"
"Over there," she says pointing to a house up the hill.
A yellow house. The same yellow house Katerina grew up in from her early childhood until before she moved in with me.
My heart beat speeds up a little. A lot actually.
I look at the little girl and then the house again and back to the little girl.
"That's your house?" I ask finally finding my voice again.
"Yes," she says scrunching up her nose again and only then do I realize something.
The nose scrunching, the light green eyes, the long light brown hair, the stuttering without meaning to, the house. Everything.
I close my eyes and pray that maybe all of this is make believe or another sick joke by Kat.
She smiles up at me and a dimple pops up driving me insane. The same small dimple that would pop up onto Kat's face whenever she was smiling and got bigger when she was laughing.
I stand up and clear my throat before finally speaking.
"Let's go find your mommy," I say not knowing weather that's for her own good or for mine.
"Come on, I'll show you where she is," she says tugging onto my hand.
I know I shouldn't go. I shouldn't want to see her or let this girl that looks like a smaller version of her but my feet think otherwise.
We walk up the hill and finally when we get to the door I realize where I'm at and what could possibly happen here and now.
She knocks on the door and right before it opens I turn around so that my back is facing the door.
I can't do it. I don't think I can ever look at her without falling for her all over again. She hurt me. She left me. I can't and refuse to fall in love with her again.
"Jess, I thought I left you to play in the park with your friends."
Her voice sends shockwaves to my heart and was like music to my ears. It was as soft and a sweet as I remember it to be. Her accent was still present.
"Mommy, this man brought me home," she says tugging on my hand to turn around.
"I'm sorry, she was suppose to stay at the park and play with her friends until I came to pick her back up," she says firmly at the little girl.
I can't get any words to come out. For once in my lifetime I'm speechless and have nothing to say to her.
What would I say to her?
"Why'd you leave me? Why'd you hurt me so bad? Why?"
"It's okay," I say my voice shocking even myself by how different it sounds.
Before she can say anything else I begin walking back down the hill to my car.
Once in my car I begin to question myself.
What just happened there? My heart beat is beating so fast I might faint.
To save the day my phone rings and its Santiago.
That's a shocker to me. He only calls when something big is happening and by something big I mean something bad.
"What is it?" I ask not wasting anytime.
"Boss, we've located Lester," he says out of breath.
"Okay, so kill him." I say starting my engine. "Actually wait until I get there. I want to kill him myself." I add on.
Santiago takes a small deep breath before speaking again. "Boss, he's with Nadiyah."
Ohhhhh , see what I did there 😏 ? Lol , I hate me too for doing that but whatever whatever , the show must go on ☺️ . Shoutouts to Aw Mustaf's daughter 😌👏🏼💅🏼 !
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Dangerous Hearts (BWWM)Romance
He was danger. She was innocence. He was fire and she was the water that wanted to put him out. But what happens when his fire spreads and she ends up getting burned? __ Nadiyah Valentino was everything anyone could ever want to be. Independent...