Psyche

22

amie’s anxiety is so high he has to hide his phone from himself so he won’t be tempted to call Jean and tell him he can’t go. He feels he should make himself throw up before he goes, but he hasn’t ate much to begin with, and the thought of puking on an empty stomach makes him queasier.

Zack isn’t at the house. Jamie doesn’t care where he is, just that he’s not there to see Jean or question why Jamie is standing by the door, looking out the window in agitation. Jamie stands there until he sees a blue car pull up in the driveway and out of it comes Jean.

His jacket’s unzipped and underneath it is a purple plaid shirt that looks awfully similar to the one Jamie tried on yesterday. Jean looks better in it.

The anxiety still doesn’t go away, especially since Jean is in his house talking to Girlie. Jean plays his part of the charming boy well, and Jamie’s sure Jean is stressing out his faint accent on purpose. Girlie keeps her hands clasped in front of her, her pink face letting on she’s smitten with him.

When it’s all done and they say goodbye, Jamie ushers him out. “Your mom’s pretty,” Jean tells him as they walk to his car. Jean looks so much older and handsomer tonight; his hair is curlier than usual, and he even smells soclean. Or maybe Jamie’s overthinking it. Jamie carries himself awkwardly, with his hair in his eyes and hands deep in his pockets. He feels silly in his dark jeans and simple, orange baseball tee. He should’ve picked a better outfit.

. . . Now’s a good time to stop thinking.

“She’s too old for you,” Jamie says after awhile, and Jean chuckles.

“I can handle it,” he replies, adding to Jamie’s flushed face. “I’m kidding. Wouldn’t I be your stepdad if I married her?”

“Oh my God.”

“Interesting thought though. My friend Luna’s sitting in the front, so you’ll have to be in the back.”

Luna turns out to be nice enough. She doesn’t talk much to Jamie, but tries to keep him involved with the conversations. She wears a bunch of rubber bracelets on one wrist, one of them saying Dominican Pride. Listening to her hum along to the song on the radio, Jamie doesn’t feel as nervous as he did before.

Everything’s going to be fine.

Apparently, Jean and Luna are the bands’ biggest fans there, because once they arrive and the music’s started, they’re clapping and singing the loudest. Luna tries dancing with Jamie, and he can only sway clumsily. But he’s having fun.

Jamie’s breathing is slow and his heart is hopping with each intake. He’s forgotten how great it feels to go to a concert, to hold his hand out toward the band, have his brain numbed, and feel so fine afterwards. He’s glad he came. He’s glad his doubts momentarily left. He can’t believe how content he feels, and without thinking about it, prays this isn’t a one time thing. He wants to feel like this all the time.