Priorities | Malum

〰 6 〰

Michael didn't realize how risky he was being by calling Calum at three in the morning. The brunette was meant to be asleep because he had training at five a.m sharp and couldn't afford to miss out on any sleep. However, Michael had insomnia. And he didn't have Calum to sing him to sleep and stroke his fingers through his hair because the younger lad was in the military. And it sucked, majorly.

He laid in his bed with his MacBook on top of his stomach, ignoring the burning sensation he felt inside of his chest. It was like someone set his heart on fire because they wanted to damage him permanently. And he hoped that person wasn't the love of his life. Because Calum would never purposely hurt Michael. He's too precious.

Michael was surprised when seeing a pitch black screen meaning that Calum answered and maybe he frowned over the fact that he wasn't able to see his boyfriends face but at least he was there.

"I'm sorry for calling you so late, cal pal, I just can't sleep. And you know how I am when I can't sleep."

"I know," Calum whispered and it was quite obvious he was half asleep. Michael felt regret rising inside of him for calling in the first place. Just because he couldn't sleep doesn't mean he should have taken away the privilege of Calum doing so. But he's always done that and it's never going to change.

"You can go back to sleep if you want. I just wanted to hear your voice."

Michael couldn't see what was happening on the other side, but Calum was definitely smiling softly because his boyfriend was just so gentle and he wanted to protect him from every problem he could get.

"Well I'm awake now and I can't go back to sleep until I know that you're actually okay."

"I think I am," Michael retorted with a small lip bite, though his eyes said otherwise. And Calum knew when he was sad because his green dilated eyes gave him away.

"You're not, baby boy. What's the matter?" Calum cooed softly as he positioned himself up from where he was and turned on a miniature lamp aside from him. The groan coming from one of the other employees was terrifying to Michael but Calum was always willing to take risks for his lover.

"It's so nice seeing your face."

"You see it everyday."

"I know."

"You never answered my question," Calum said in an inaudible voice so he wouldn't wake anybody else up.

"Right," Michael mumbled as he fiddled with the edges of his blanket. He really didn't like being alone at night, "I just really miss you Calum and it gets harder for me every single day."

"It's hard for me too, Michael. But you have to understand that what I'm doing is-"

"Yeah, I know. A priority. Something that others wouldn't understand because they aren't willing to sacrifice something for their community. And you sacrificed losing me."

"What do you mean losing you?"

Michael ended the call right then and there. No, he wasn't breaking up with Calum. He wouldn't even have to think about doing something so stupid. He just needed a break from all of the pain he felt inside. From all of the short conversations that never really lasted because Calum always has something to do. From all of the stress when never being able to sleep at night or feel happy because his boyfriend isn't right beside him.

He didn't know what he meant himself when he said losing me. Because he wasn't implying that Calum leaving for the military meant that Michael was going to end their relationship. He didn't want that because he's had too many beautiful memories with the boy. But it was so different because some people manage to make long distance relationships work. They manage to lie and say that distance makes the heart grow fonder but they're so fùcking wrong.

They're so wrong because Michael has never felt more like overdosing on pills or laying beneath a shower of water in the bathtub as a way to just die. So he could forget about all of the numbness he's feeling and Calum has no idea. But Michael also doesn't know that Calum is the same way. He misses his boyfriend deeply, but he wouldn't leave the military for the world. It was his dream ever since he turned five.

Michael sighed to himself as he felt wet tears fall down his cheeks. He wasn't really okay but it didn't matter anyway. Because Calum wasn't there to comfort him. And when he really came to think of it, nobody was.

-

Michael dreaded going to class the next day. It was the beginning of the new semester and he had to meet new professors and new students and it made him anxious. I mean sure, it wasn't like high school where classes were incredibly large and people judged you if you showed up late. College students don't really give a shīt about what they wear because most of the time, it's sweatpants and overly long sweaters that kind of smell sometimes.

But Michael always made sure he looked well put together. He was the type of person who wanted to make a good impression on people. And that's exactly what he did when he walked inside room 149 across the building. And his face shattered with fear when seeing everybody looked extroverted.

Except for one kid, who was sitting in the back of the classroom with a hood over his head and a textbook practically shoved in his face. And Michael really felt the need to talk to him. So he did.

"Hey, I'm Michael," Michael introduced himself and when he noticed the lad looked up, he smiled. He had large golden brown curls, hazel green eyes that were incredibly mesmerizing and parted lips. He also wore round glasses on his face and it was quite adorable.

"Ashton."

"Want to be friends?" Michael questioned. Maybe it sounded like a conversation that five year olds would have. But he was never good with conversation. And neither was Ashton, because he nodded and stuck his hand out as a way to show agreement.

"I'd love to."

Michael couldn't wait to tell Calum that he finally made a friend.