reasons

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The title of this story is a lie you know? I chose it for a reason. Indigo had five major issues on herself. Five major issues that she claimed to be flaws, but that was the thing. They weren't flaws at all.

The purpose of this story was to show that what you think to be wrong about yourself just might be right. What you think to be flaws are actually not. And that you only think that you have flaws because you feel that you don't meet up to society's standards, because that's what you're used to − being told that the way you are isn't beautiful enough. Which isn't true.

Self love is a beautiful concept, but women should love themselves at their own pace, not by force.

I wanted to write about a relationship where the male leading role would give the female leading role reasons as to why she should love herself but not force her to love herself. Ivan did disagree with Indigo when she doubted herself, but he didn't do it in a way that made her annoyed or more insecure. Instead, he told her phrases that could uplift her and not be demeaning in any way.

Here's the thing, if you couldn't already tell, Indigo was in a psychiatric ward. No that doesn't make her crazy. Indigo suffers from body dysmorphic disorder. All though I never went into detail with that I didn't feel the need to. I wanted this story to just focus on Indigo and Ivan and then lead up to the reasons as to why she can't love herself.

Body dysmorphic order is a psychological disorder in which a person becomes obsessed with imaginary defects in their appearance. Maybe the disorder doesn't seem big to you but if you research personal stories on it you'll discover just how bad it can be.

Now, I can't really ever tell you if Indigo ever learned to love herself, but I can tell you that Ivan was always there for her when she couldn't.

And don't think that I'm telling you that you need a boy or a man or a girl or a woman or any relationship at all in order to love yourself. Although, if he or she happens to be someone like Ivan, then all I can say is that he or she is a definite keeper.

And also, to all the black ladies or gentlemen out there and all people of color − don't be afraid of your race and where you came from. Don't think that you are not able to be loved because of your skin. Don't be shameful of yourself. You aren't nothing, you are something. Something that will do amazing things one day.

And to anyone who suffers from any type of disorder or illness you're not crazy, and you're not a liar. You don't have to hide or shy away from who you are. You have problems, and that's okay. You're not like everyone else, and that's okay. Having a disorder or illness doesn't make you any less human than the rest of us. None of that makes you un-normal. It's okay to struggle and face hard days and times.

Mental illnesses are extremely dominant and have passed through a majority of everyone on my dad's side of the family. I've seen it all. Through my dad, through my aunts, through my uncles, through my grandma. They were torn apart but they've gotten better, and sometimes they break and that's okay too. I understand. Everyone is going through something. Whether big or small don't ever belittle someone's feelings.

Thank you for reading this story. I truly hope that you liked it.

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