Marvel Imagines

Wade Wilson and Weasel

Problematic Besties:

"How would describe this place (Y/N)?" Wade asked as he turned on his barstool to face me, his signature smirk painted on his face.

"This place is... my favorite shithole in town." I said with my own smirk.

"Hey!!" Weasel suddenly said as his he looked up from wiping down the bar. "This is my bar, my livelihood and you're supposed to be my friend. Why are you calling it a 'shithole'?" He feigned a look of complete betrayal, which made me laugh.

"As much as I love you and your bar, there is no denying that it is a shithole. That being said, while this place may be a shithole, it is my favorite shithole and I wouldn't trade it for the world." The three of us laughed at this and Weasel shook his head at me before turning around to face the glass cabinet behind him. Hanging from the frame of the cabinet were three photos, one of Wade and Vanessa, one of Weasel and I from the day we became 'roomies' and the third was a picture of all four of us together. Weasel suddenly pulled a florescent green marker out and wrote on the glass below the pictures. 'While this place may be a shithole, it is my favorite shithole and I wouldn't trade it for the world. - (Y/N) (Y/L/N)'

"Awww, see that Wade he still loves me." At this Wade snorted and half his sip of beer shot out his nose.

"You do realize that he's got money on you for the dead pool, right?"

"Yeah, but I also know that he never wins, so as long as Weasel has money on me my ass is safe." I said taking another sip of my beer. "So basically, him putting money on me is his way of saying '(Y/N) I love you and hope nothing bad ever happens to you.'"

"That's right!" Weasel said and held his fist out for me, I reached up and bumped it with a smile. Wade chuckled at the two of us, but his laughter was interrupted by someone barging angrily into the bar. He was fuming and looking around the bar for something or someone. Weasel and I both looked at Wade.

"Wade, what did you do?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Who said it was me that he's looking for?" Weasel scoffed at his answer.

"It's always you." I nodded in agreement to his statement. Wade opened his mouth to respond, but that was when the guy spotted Wade and charged at him. He grabbed Wade and threw him off his stool to the ground, standing over him.

"Wilson, I'm going to kill you." The man growled at him. I sighed before hoping off of my own stool, I tapped the man's shoulder and gave him my best smile when he turned to look (quite angrily) at me.

"Excuse me sir but I'm afraid I can't let you do that." His nostrils flared in anger and he squared up in front of me.

"Oh yeah, and what are you going to do to stop me?" With the man facing me, Wade had the opportunity to get up from the ground and get the upper hand in the fight. I smiled at the man again.

"Oh! Honey, I'm not going to do anything. I just needed to get your attention long enough for him to get up." I pointed back at Wade and the man whipped his head around to look at him. The guy growled and threw a punch, Wade dodged it of course. The force of the missed hit sent the guy forward and he stumbled a bit. Wade snickered and dove into the fight. I hopped back up on the stool to drink my beer while I watched the fight. Weasel opened up his own beer and leaned on the bar to watch as well.

"You know, I kind of love the fact that we always know the he's going to win, because it means we don't have to worry about him. On the other hand, I hate it because..."

"It also means that he knows he's always going to win and every fight just fuels his ego and makes him even more insufferable." I finished Weasel's thought for him.

"Exactly." He responded and raised his beer in a mock toast, I did the same with a smile. By the time our short conversation was finished, the fight was too. Wade was sauntering back over to the two of us, the grin of accomplishment plastered on his face.

"Alright kiddos, one more drink then I'm headed home to Vanessa. So let's make it a good one." He said and Weasel pulled out a bottle of tequila and poured three shots. Each of us grabbed one and held them up.

"So, what are we drinking to?" I asked.

"To you two." Weasel said. "You're both assholes, you start fights and destroy my bar, you insult my bar, and you never pay for drinks. You are the most problematic pair of besties I could ever have found myself attached to, but...You're my best friends and I wouldn't give you up for the world."

"Amen to that." Wade said, and the three of us clinked our glasses before downing our shots and slamming the glasses back down on the bar. "See you tomorrow." Wade said. Weasel and I waved goodbye to him.

"You headed home soon?" Weasel asked.

"Nah, I'm gonna wait for you. Make sure you don't get mugged on the way home." He laughed at this.

"Thanks, you're a good friend." We both laughed quite hysterically at this, knowing it was one of the most inaccurate statements ever made, but that he definitely meant it. It would also be quite inaccurate to say that Wade and Weasel are great friends to me, but I mean it when I say that they are.