I fuck up everything

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Chris's P.O.V

I woke up feeling someone kissing my chest. I look down and see alex. God, she's so damn cute. She's looked up at me with those eye's I love so much. I can see so much love and passion and care in them. She smiled with her dimples showing. I kissed her head moving her closer to my body. "Good morning my beautiful girlfriend". She blushed and covered her face with her hand's. "Hey stop it, you look so cute when you blush babe". I moved her hand's from her face smiling at her. She smiled back kissing me deeply. 

I could get use to this every morning. "Good morning my sexy boyfriend". I chuckled at her. "What are we doing today my love?" She was tracing the outlines of my tattoo's on my chest. "Hm...Can we just stay here and cuddle and watch movies?" "Yes that would be great". She cuddle into my more. I pulled her in my chest laying my head on her's. "I love you alex". I felt her smile against me. She giggled "I love you too Christopher". I laughed at how she use my full name. "Wow my full name". "Yes I love your name baby". She kissed my chest which I loved. I started thinking about last night and what almost happened.

Alex is so damn sexy. The thing's that I would do to her. I want her so bad. Alex brought me out of my thought's. She was laughing at something. "What is so funny?" I looked down at her and she moved back a little. Her face was so red. Why was she blushing so much. "Um...chris, you have a boner" She giggled and I looked down.

"Shit. I'm sorry." I felt my cheek's turn red from the embarrassment I felt. "Don't be sorry baby" She pulled herself closer to me, rubbing up against my hard dick, which made it harder. She kissed my neck.  I moaned once she started nibbling on my spot. She smiled against my neck. "You like that don't you" She said in a sexy voice to me. I nodded my head to her telling her yes. "Well to bad." She started getting out of bed to leave.

Oh hell no she is not leaving. "No your not missy." I grabbed her waist pulling her back to me.  I grabbed her sides tickling her. She was begging for me to stop, but I wasn't going to let her off that easy. "Baby......please.....oh my......gosh....stop.....it!" "Not until you say sorry for leaving me". "I'm......so......sorry!" I let her go and she got up off the bed looking at me with a cute mad face. "Butthole" I chuckled. 

We spent the day watching horror movies and cuddle and eating a lot of hot wings. I love this girl so much. She's so prefect. Alex fell asleep on me watching a rob zombie movie. I pick her up and brought her to my room laying her on the bed. I took off my shirt and shorts and got into bed next to her. I pulled her to me and kissed her head. "Goodnight baby". I fell fast asleep.

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Alex P.O.V.

I woke thinking about chirs. I turned to my side facing chris's side of the bed, but he wasn't there. I got up going out into the kitchen. No luck. I looked in every room and he was no where in site. I went back to the room and checked my phone. It was 7 a.m.. Shit I just remember I have work today. I got my things and left in my car to my house. I got there and took a shower, getting ready.

I walked into work making my way to the back. Ryan grabbed my hand and leaned closer to me. "Hey, we need to talk about something later. Okay?" I was kinda nervous what he needed to talk to me about. "Um...yeah, sure" He let go of my arm. I put my stuff in the back and got to work.

Work was boring and awkward, all I kept thinking about was what ryan needed. Work ended though thank gosh! I went to the back and got all my thing's, trying to be quick so ryan wouldn't get me. I walked out of the door, looking for any sign of ryan. I didn't see him so I started walking out. Next feel someone grab my waist and pull me to them. I look and see ryan smiling at me. "Where do you think your going baby?" He grinned at me and grabbed my hand.

We walked to his car and he told me to get in. We got in and he started the car up. "So where are we going?" Ryan looked at me and then looked back at the road. "Just a park. I needed to talk to you about something." I nodded to him and then looked out the window. About 20 minutes we were at the park. Ryan got out first and then came to open my door for me. I don't know why, but he always did that for me.

He walked to the swing's and sat in one. I sat next to him sitting on the swing. I rocked back and fourth just waiting for him to say something. "So are you going on tour with chris?" he asked saying it kind of soft. "Um...I still don't know yet, why?" He looked at the ground messing with the sand with his feet. "Cause I don't want you to go." He then looked at me with sadness in his eye's just like last time. "Why not?" He let out a sigh and cleared his throat. "Cause I'm in love with you Alex." What he said hit me like a brick in the head. 

What?! No ryan can't be in love with me. What the hell is going on?! "I'm sorry, I know you love chris. I just had to tell you." I looked at him and he had tear's starting in his eyes. I got up from my seat and moved by him. I looked down at him and he looked up at me with tears rolling down his cheek. Ryan never cried for anything. This was the first time I've seen him every cry. It broke everything of me to see him like this. I whipped his tear's away with my hand. He put on a smile, but I knew it was bullshit.

"You know you can't pull a fake smile on me ryan." He grinned and stood up, making me back up a little. He pulled me close to him and looked at my lips. He started moving closer. I stood there just trying to see what was going to happened. Next thing I know his lips are on mine. I start to get butterflies and start kissing him back. I've always wanted to be with ryan, but I can't. It's to late now. I start pulling away, but ryan just hold's me closer. 

He pulls out of the kiss and looks at me. "I'm sorry." Is all he said before running to his car. I stood there in shock at just what the fuck happened? Did I just really cheat on chris? Fuck my life! I started walking to my house. It was about 3 miles away, but I didn't want to walk longer to go get my car. I pull out my phone and look at the time. It was 3 and I saw that I had 3 missed texted. I click to look at them. 

Chris<3: Baby where are you? Call me.

Chris<3: Babe are you okay? Text me back please

Chris<3: Alex where the fuck are you?! I just went by your work and you aren't there and your car's still here. Please text me back I'm worried.

I put my phone back in my pocket not texting back. I just cheated on him. I didn't want to tell him. If I tell him he will just end thing's. It's been a long day. I'll just wait till tomorrow. I just wanted to get home and cut. I hated myself so much for what I did. More than an hour later I was home. I put my thing's on the couch, locking my door. I went up to the bathroom and got my blade.

I pulled down my jean's and put the cold blade to my skin. It felt so good. I missed my best friend. I moved on and cut more and deeper this time. As I was cutting I heard the door open. I was crying so hard and I was so fucked up at this point I didn't care to get up and see what was going on. I cut deeper feeling the blood go down my leg.

The door slammed open. I still was on the floor, in a my own blood crying my eye's out. I felt arm's rap around me. I looked up seeing a blurring crying chris. "Alex...why baby...why?" He said he had tears going down his cheek and it killed me knowing this was my fault. Chris set me on the courter getting the first aid kit. He cleaned my cut's with made it hurt more than a bitch. I couldn't even say anything. I didn't want to. The fact that he saw me like this, is something I never wanted to happen. 

Chris looked at me and whipped the tears on my face still falling down. He looked at me with so much pain and worry. It hurt, not seeing the love and care in them. He picked me up and carried me to my bed laying me down in it. "We'll talk about this later, get some rest." He kissed my head and crawled in pulling me to him. I could feel how worried he was and the sadness he was feeling. His body was tense and still.

I just wanted this to be just a bad nightmare and I would wake up to chris being happy. I don't want him sad. It hurt just even thinking about it. This was all my fault. I fuck everything up. I fell asleep just wishing I would wake up and everything would be fine.

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Sorry if this is making you want to do it. Don't! But vote and comment. I will be updating soon hopefully.

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