I can't lose you to this

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"She's awake."  Doctor Edwin says as we approach.

" can I see her ? I need to see her." I say as I try to look over the doctors shoulders.

" I asked her If there was anyone she wanted to see. You're Blake right? "

" yes" I say with complete confidence.

" She suggested to see you first," turning to the woods " If you don't mind going down to the cafeteria relax a little eat something and she will see you after him."

As they leave he leads me down the hallway. He stops short outside a blue door, room 223. He nods lightly and walks away. Taking a deep breath I push the door open and see her gorgeous face and fragile body laying under the white hospital sheets. Her head resting against the pillow, she turns her head lightly as she hears me come in. Alyx tries to sit up as I walk in.

" shhh no baby don't move rest" I say as I approach her bed and lay my hand on hers.

Alyx glances at em with watery eyes and begins to cry lightly. 

" I'm so sorry Blake, I'm sorry" she sobs and she hold my hand tighter. " I just couldn't take it anymore. The bullying,the tears I shed all the time I felt so weak.. Helpless, I needed a release .... I never thought I'd break my promise that soon. I'm sorry if I disappointed you.. "

" Baby listen to me, I want you to know this alright. There has never been a moment of disappointment I've had in you or us. All I see is us two working hard to keep what we want! What we have we love each other and I love you with all my heart. You are my life. My sunlight to my day and night. Your there when I need you. I don't know how to thank you enough for it either. You are my everything and i love you so much. I may get a little emotional.....I've been so clingy to you....I love you so much .... I can't lose you. I don't want you hurt.. Nor hurting yourself cause it makes me feel like I'm not doing enough. Like I'm not doing what I can or should be. Baby you mean so much to me. I love each and every moment with you. No matter how it goes. I will do everything in my power to help you and to stop doubting yourself. Baby when I found you.. my world fell around me. everything crushed. If I lost you I wouldn't know what to do. How to handle my self. I'm just so damn happy your alive princess. Finding you there.. It will forever be their but so will seeing your eyes right now. " Whipping the stray tears the shed from my eye during my long ass lecture. After whipping mine I use my free hand to whip away Alyx's tears that are streaming down her face.

She reaches out and brings me in for a hug, a long tight hug that ended in both of us crying into each others arms.

" I can't lose you to this." I whisper lightly into her ear.

As time goes by we talk about anything but what happened. That's for another time. We talked about every single thing we love about each other. Until she drifts off to sleep. I stay there and hold her hand and try to sleep...




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