M A L L O R Y J E N K I N S
Present day
I sat on the window ledge inside the room with my knees tugged to my chest. I had earphones plugged into my phone and into my ears and my mug of tea in my hands. Survival by Eminem blasted through my headphones into my ears, and I started nodding my head to the beat. The view out of the window was boring, but listening to music moved my mind from that to just anything in particular. Right now my mind was swaying with negative thoughts.
Worthless, that's all you are Mallory. A fucking piece of shit. No one will ever love you, just quit trying to recover because you know you're not going to any time soon. Grab that blade, those pills and that note. Do it. Do it. DO IT.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I yanked the earphones from my ears and left them on the window ledge along with my phone that was still playing the music. I ran to the en-suite bathroom and grabbed the small razor blade I had put in a box on top of the cabinet. The nurses or doctors that come and go in here are smaller than me so they never look up there, the main reason being they can't reach it. I washed the blade clean and sat down on the cold, white tiled floor. I sniffled and wiped some of the tears away and pulled the note from my pocket of my sweats. Titled, to whoever cares about my death.
I laid it down onto the ground beside me and looked down at the blade in my left hand and turned my right arm over so that the inner part of my lower arm was facing me. The 'battlescars' were fading and I needed to make new ones to take away the pain. I had to, I just had to.
Do it now and you'll be free. You'll be with your mum and dad. Everyone can actually live their lives without you mourning and traipsing around. No one likes you Mallory, and they never will. Never. Fucking. Will.
I screamed and took in deep breaths before placing the blade to my wrist and clenched my fist into a tight ball. The blade slid across my wrist a multiple of times before the pain inside of me started to fade away for a temporary amount of time. I grabbed the bottle of pills and the glass of water that I had made and gulped them down - not bothering to see how many there were. I threw the empty bottle at the wall and cried with all my might. Blood trickled down my arms and made puddles on the cold floor and the pills were slowly starting their effect. My eyes became heavy and I felt dizzy.
This is it Mal! You're nearly there, keep going! Only a matter of seconds before you are with your-
"MALLORY!" A familiar voice startled me. I looked up through my drowsy eyes and made our two figures. One I recognised to be Lily and another I didn't know. "Mal, stay awake for me honey. I'm going to get emergency help. Harry stay with here." What I could make out was Lily standing up from her kneeling position and another figure - a male figure this time - taking her place as she ran out of the room. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing." This 'Harry' lad panicked. "Leave me alone. T-That would be the best h-help y-you can d-do." I whispered, my words a little rough from my almost unconsciousness.
Before I knew it, my eyes rolled to the back of my head and my vision went from blurry to black, to white.
**
"Mallory sweety, wake up." Lily's soft voice echoed through my ears. I slowly peeled my eyes open to see Lily and another figure beside my bed. "Morning hun." Lily smiled, sighing from relief. I saw the needles in my arms and my wrists were attached to the side of the bed rails. "Get the fucking needles out of me now." I said as I tried moving my wrists out of the straps that were holding them against the cold metal bed rails. "You know I can't-"
"I said get these damn things out of me Lily!" I yelled, making the boy that was stood at the back of the room jump in shock. "Ok, ok." She said nervously, removing the useless IV needles and wires from my body. She unbuckled the straps over my hands and I clicked my knuckles, making Lily cringe. "You'll be staying in here for 5 days for recovery. You won't be allowed out unless you need the bathroom, you have a bath or a shower and for studying." Lily said seriously.
"Great. Once again stuck in this shitty part of the ward." I muttered under my breath. "You not gonna introduce me to your friend Lil?" I smiled sarcastically. "Mallory this is Harry. Harry this is Mallory or Mal." Lily smiled enthusiastically as she introduced the curly haired boy with dazzling green orbs to me, the plain old boring, messed up freak.
"Nice to meet you." He smiled and made his way over to the bed. I tensed up when I saw he was going to sit on the bed but he stopped himself, relaxing me a little. "May I?" He asked, gesturing to the bed.
I hesitantly nodded and he grinned as he sat down. He chuckled and looked around the room, inspecting it if you were. "What are you laughing at?" I asked, anxiety rushing over me. What if he was laughing at me? How idiotic I look, how fat I am, how ugly I am? "It's just... All of the other kids here have noticed I'm from One Direction and have screamed or fangirled over it. But you, no you're different. I like that." He smiled cheekily. Now I realised who he was. Sneeky asshole.
"For starters, whenever this happens," I said as I gestured to me in the bed, "I'm not really the best person to ask these types of things. And secondly, I'm not really a massive fan of One Direction. Yeah you've got good music, but I'm more of a rock, rapping, bass type girl." I said with a faint smile. "Well it's good to know I can actually talk to someone here who doesn't drool about me." Harry laughed.
"Who said I don't drool over you?" I teased with a cheeky smirk on my face. "Touché." He grinned, little dots on his cheeks turning inwards to make room for the dimples to appear. I looked at them and they were dazzling, amazing. I had to look away or else I actually would be drooling over him. "So how come you're here?" I asked after Lily had exited the room. "Clinical depression, anxiety and bulimia nervosa." He sighed, looking elsewhere in the room.
"I have Schizophrenia, Depression, Bipolar, Anxiety, Anorexia, and Oneirophrenia." I said quickly, catching my breath back afterwards. Harry looked at me with wide eyes and his mouth fell open a little. "Shut your mouth." I said and shut his mouth with my hand. "T-That's alot. But may I ask what Oneirophrenia is?" He asked quietly, afraid that I was going to burst into anger at him. He was fucking correct. "None of your fucking business, bastard." I cussed, glaring at him.
"I-I'm sorry." He stuttered, making a quick beeline for the door. "Harry wait-" I was cut off by the door closing. I sighed and buried my head in my hands, letting the tears pour from my eyes. The day I finally feel comfortable around a boy, Harry freaking Styles, I fucking blow it. Good going Mal, good going.
H A R R Y S T Y L E S
"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered as I made a quick beeline for the door. I heard her say something, but I had closed the door as soon as she spoke. I sighed and shook my head in disappointment. I've only just arrived here and I've clearly made an enemy. Great going Haz, great going. I was intruiged by Mallory and I don't know why. Call me cliché, but I was sure going to find out.
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Crazy People (Harry Styles)
Fanfictioncra·zy /ˈkrāzē Adjective Mentally deranged, esp. as manifested in a wild or aggressive way: "Stella went crazy and assaulted a visitor". Noun A mentally deranged person. Mallory Jenkins. The definition of crazy. Having been diagnosed with Schizophre...