I'm Yours

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I'm Yours, a very short novella.

Copyright, Rianna Heppenstall 2011

Part 1

They say that there are defining moments in our lives that change everything. Like we know that at that precise moment, something bad would follow. Like when you get a phone call at six in the morning saying that your brother has been rushed into hospital because he’s having a heart attack. Yes, that would be a moment of fright but then you think. What really caused the heart attack? Then you really begin to back track back to the cause. Well he had lung cancer, but what from? Well he smoked a packet of cigarettes a day. Why? Because he got addicted to them. Why? Because his friends were all smoking in school. And that’s when you realise that the moment he lit that cigarette was the definite moment his life changed. But he didn’t know that in the future he would get cancer and possibly die, no, he lived in that second. He didn’t think of the future when he gave in to the pressure, he was living in the present. Nobody ever thinks of the future when they live because why would you? You could be crossing the road and get run over. When you set foot off the pavement you didn’t think to yourself that there could be a boy racer racing around the bend. Things happen and we hardly ever stop to think, we get caught up in the now that everything else seems to melt away.

Looking back, I could tell you the exact moment my life changed. I could tell you the weather outside, what was said to me and what lesson I was walking to. Looking back, I realise that there was no other choice for me. It all changed when my enemy muttered the words “Go to prom with me”.  Of course a feeling of horror overtook me briefly but it was for the wrong reason. Prom. Even the word made my lips curl and my stomach clench in hatred. I didn’t mind wearing the dresses, not at all, but it was the people who would be there that made me not want to go. Specifically him; Will Hurst. My worst enemy and also the love of my life.

Yeah, you’re probably thinking “what the hell?” or something similar but I did love him and I really wish I didn’t. I don’t even know how it happened. Sometime during the arguments he’d get in my face just long enough for me to see his true form. The way his eyes sparkled with mischief as he taunted me and the way his commanding brow would raise haughtily as if to dare me just added to the passion. What made me fall, though, was what he could have been if he let his guard down to the people around him. I knew of the social pressures of being a popular person but surely those pressures were put in place by his own self doubt and then enforced by the others in the clique. Normally in an English school we didn’t really have noticeable cliques as such, not like the stereotyped American T.V shows, but more friendship groups. Everybody knew everybody in their year but there were only a few people who were different than the other ordinary people. And it just so happened to be the populars that stood out. They were the ones who were really athletic and pretty and who had loads of friends but also were known to be two faced whores who loved make up.  I tried so hard to break away and stay away from them but fate wouldn’t allow it. It made Will in need of a tutor in year eight by none other than me. It made him take my first kiss in year nine as a dare. And then in year ten it made me his primary target of bullying. Every day from then on he would find some way to humiliate me or have a huge argument but every time, without fail, I’d secretly love it. Don’t get me wrong, I got him back for all his misdeeds but I loved the passion from our arguments. And through all that I somehow managed to conceal my emotions, to put up a blank mask of indifference every time he’d be nearby. It took a lot of energy to do but I refused to fall at his feet and fawn over his every action like so many did. It was sickening and that was just the right thing to get me to be able to pull off this magic act. Because in essence, that’s exactly what it was.

The day my life changed was just another one of those days. You know, the average ones when it’s probably pouring it down with rain that seems endless.

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