Chapter 20

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The front door opens and I look up from my place on the couch. Trisha walks in and stops, staring at me.

"Ho- How'd you- How did you get in?" I stutter, dropping my heavy head back down onto the seat rest. My living room is spinning.

"The key under the sunflower plant... Your spare key."

I'm unable to lift my head as she bends down next to me, moving my hair from my eyes. "Jesus, Genny."

"What- What time is it?"

"It's seven... at night. I've been calling."

"I-I didn't- hear it."

"I can see that. Drink that whole bottle did you?"

I shake my head. "Half."

"I'm surprised you haven't thrown up all over yourself to be honest."

I smile sleepily, nodding. She sighs, standing.

"Alright, come on." I groan as she grabs my arms, lifting me up. "Come on, stand up."

I do so, shakily and with her help, stumble towards the bedroom.

"How long have you been drinking?"

I shake my head, unable to remember.

"Alright, I'm guessing for a while. Eaten?"

I look at her and she rolls her eyes. "Guess that's a no. Hun, lay down. Yeah, right here."

I settle down onto my cold sheets, remembering when Tristan was in them with me. She moves her hair from her face, staring down at me.

"I'm going to get you some water, food and Tylenol. Lots of Tylenol... Okay?"

I shake my head, grabbing her hand as she turns.

"Please, just s-stay. Lay down with me."

Nodding, she sets down her purse and climbs in over the covers next to me. She extends her arm and I move towards her, happy for the comfort.

We sit silently and I realize it's going to be hell going to sleep tonight. This room is spinning like a disco ball. She smooth's her hand over my hair, pushing it back from my face. I feel my lip tremble and rest my head on her chest, breaking down.

"It's okay, Gen. It will be okay," she whispers, cooing softly as if she were my mother. I'm unable to stop, knowing I've never felt like this ever. I've never felt this kind of pain before.

"He's not worth your tears, baby. Don't cry over him."

I hold both my hands over my eyes, pushing down as if that will somehow get the tears to cease. I hate this. I wipe my eyelids, desperate to stop. I don't want to show her this.

Minutes pass this way and the sobs cease, only silent tears remain.

"I've never seen you like this..." she whispers, clutching me tighter. "I've known you forever... I don't think I've ever even seen you cry... well, except during those PETA commercials."

I can't hold the laugh in. I shake my spinning head, closing my aching eyes.

"I've- I've never felt this before."

"What do you feel?"

"... Worthless."

"Now you're talking crazy."

"... Have you ever felt- felt like someone was- meant- meant for you?"

She's silent for a moment before she speaks. "No."

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