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i actually agreed to go on a date with jimin. i mean, why not give it a try? there was nothing wrong with trying. i got to go out with a person that i've been crushing for so long. i should be feeling excited or hyper, but no.

why was i feeling sad instead?

•••

taking deep breaths, i calmed myself down from being nervous as i stood in front of the coffee shop. jimin said to meet him at the nearest coffee shop from my house.

i peeked at the window and saw that he was patiently playing his phone while sipping on a cup of coffee.

i guessed that i shouldn't make him wait any longer, so i pushed open the door which resulted in the bells above to jingle. jimin looked over to my direction and his face lit up as he saw me. he waved his hand and motioned me to go over to him.

i tried my best to plaster a sincere smile, hoping that i actually looked excited in front of him. but the truth was, i wasn't feeling any emotions at all.

have i actually lost feelings for him? have i actually lost feelings for someone that i've been crushing on for a long time?

just when i lost feelings for him, he just then noticed me. i didn't felt butterflies in my stomach anymore. i just felt normal, and no sense of tingling sensation even if he touched my hand.

"jae hee, first of all, thank you so much for coming." jimin held my hand as he grinned at me. i just nodded my head.

"what would you like to drink?" he then asked. i scanned through the menu, and i found a drink that attracted my attention.

"uh, espresso." i answered. he then went to the counter and ordered it for me even though i didn't tell him to do so.

it just feels like; when you like that person so much, yet that person is always out of your reach. but when you start to letting go of your feelings, that person would always appear right in front of your eyes.

the old me would be blushing hard and trying so hard not to make a fool of myself. the old me would probably keep on trying to make contact with jimin's hand. the old me could've probably done things that i could ever imagine.

"your espresso," jimin placed the cup of coffee gently down in front of me as i thanked him. i stirred the coffee as i kept on staring at it.

"so," jimin broke the awkward silence. "why did you decided to lose weight?"

"the answer is pretty obvious, isn't it?" i said. "i wanted to become slim and pretty. i wanted to satisfy others,"

a smile formed on jimin's face, "yeah, you do look pretty right now and you do satisfy me. no doubt you're my type."

i wanted to laugh. so right now, i was his type? but sadly, he wasn't my type anymore. i had confirmed that i officially lost feelings for him and i felt a huge weight was being lifted up from my chest.

"well jimin, it was nice of you to say that." i told him as i sipped on the cup of espresso.

"but sadly, you aren't my type anymore." i lamented. a shocked expression appeared on jimin's face and his jaw just dropped.

"anymore? does that mean that last time, i was your type?" jimin started to bombard me with questions. i could feel myself getting irritated as i slammed the teaspoon down on the table.

"yes. i had a major crush on you last time. but right now, i don't. i lost interest in you. i absolutely have no feelings for you right now." i replied. jimin clenched his jaw and he was taking deep breaths.

"do you like someone else now then?"

that question hit me hard. why did i lose feelings for jimin? was it just because i didn't find him attractive anymore or was it because i..... like someone else?

when jimin asked me that question, namjoon instantly popped up right in my mind.

no wonder, it was because i actually like namjoon right now. my heart would flutter whenever i saw him and i would blush really hard when he held my hand several times.

i really didn't imagine that i would like someone like namjoon, whom i didn't even know his existence in the school before he founded me in the toilet.

"yes," i breathed out. i was done with jimin, and i did not want to deal with him anymore. so i stood up from my seat and walked right out of coffee shop, leaving jimin inside there.

just when i had walked quite far from the coffee shop, i heard a loud panting behind me and i felt myself being yanked backwards. i faced jimin who's face were as red as a tomato as he had just run non-stop for quite a distance, i guessed.

the next thing i knew, he had pulled me closer to him and he smashed his lips against mine. he kept on moving his mouth against mine as i used all my energy to push him away. but it wasn't working at all, so i resorted to kick him right in the balls with my high heels and he finally let go of me.

i slapped him hard right on the cheek as i could feel myself breathing heavily. tears were streaming down my face and i felt like i was violated. i felt a part of me was being ripped off and i felt a sense of insecurity.

"park jimin, go and fucking rot in hell!" i screamed at him as my lips trembled. i took off both my high heels and threw directly at him, not caring if he would be in pain or not.

and then i ran, barefooted. i didn't care if the passer-bys were watching me or not. i just didn't care about anything right at that moment, except for one thing.

•••

i pounded hard on the house door repeatedly as i tried to wait impatiently. my legs were aching and i could feel myself collapsing at any moment.

the door finally opened, revealing namjoon who had a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. he took out the toothbrush and stared at me in surprise as his eyes widened.

"jae hee?" he said as he scanned my messy figure. i nodded my head as i suddenly attacked him with a hug which surprised him, but he still wrapped his arms around my waist.

"namjoon," i cried out. namjoon patted my back and i buried my face at the crook of his neck, feeling comfortable. i could feel my tears going away soon as i leaned backwards, facing namjoon again.

"jae hee, what happened?" he asked softly. his voice sounded soothing to me and i smiled.

"namjoon, i want to tell you something before that." i gathered up my courage as i knew that i was sure of my feelings and i won't ever regret it, unlike with jimin.

"namjoon, i like you."

-

when you finally have a week of holiday and you thought you could k-drama and chill but no omg

i have to go back school for three days and i have homework for every subject except like 2 which are like not important at all omg

what a great holiday!!

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