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Chapter Four

CHAPTER FOUR.

+ Sam's POV  +

"I'm sure he's not that bad," I squeaked. Oh, shit.

Arden looked up from her textbook and blinked twice at me before sighing, "he's not a bad person, but it's impossible to have any kind of relationship with him. He just gets out of control when he's angry."

I nodded but stayed quiet, unwilling to listen to all the reasons I would never be friends with Axel. Of course, she didn't know that in reality I'd love to be much more than just friends with the guy, but still.

I was so lost in hopeless thoughts of Axel that I didn't catch what Arden said next.

"Pardon?" I grinned sheepishly.

Arden sighed playfully while stretching leisurely, leaning over the back of her chair as Madame Dubois continued droning on in the background. God, why did I decide to take French?

"I said, you're sitting with my friends and I during lunch break, right?" Arden repeated.

My eyes slid down casually, and I noticed that her tie-dye shirt had crept up, exposing her glittering belly button ring. It reminded me of Jackie, and I felt a hard pang of homesickness. Sure, Jackie would be more likely to have a skull dangling from her navel than a shiny purple star, but suddenly I realized just how much I missed my best friends. I missed Jackie's sarcasm and sharp retorts, and I missed Cammie's endless positivity and glowing smile.

When I didn't reply, Arden straightened up, and her shirt fell back into place.

"Buddy, my eyes are up here."

Confused, I met her gaze and noticed her raised eyebrow. Oh, my god, she thought I was checking her out.

I couldn't stop the strangled laugh that escaped me as I realized this, and her eyes narrowed.

"What's so funny?" she demanded.

Fuck.

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

"Why were you laughing?"

"I wasn't."

"Yes you were."

"No, I'm pretty sure I wasn't."

"Sam, what the fuck?"

"What? I don't recall laughing."

There were a couple beats of silence before I sighed. "Sorry. I thought you thought I was checking you out and just... no."

The silence stretched on for another few beats before I realized how bad that sounded. Shit, why did I even leave my house this morning?

"N-not that I wouldn't check you out, b-because of course, you're... gorgeous, I just mean-" Oh god, make it stop. Sam, you're digging yourself a hole.

Even as I refused to meet Arden's gaze, I could feel her eyes narrowing on me. I was beyond humiliated and flustered, and was unwillingly insulting the only real friend I'd made in Oak Hill.

"Sam, it's fine, I think I get it," she stated, smiling softly at me.

I swear I felt my heart stop as I met her knowing gaze, "No, I'm not—"

"It's okay, you know," she whispered.

We were silent for a moment before I nodded once, "I know it's okay. It's been okay for years. Just not here."

Her eyebrows furrowed, but she didn't get a word out before Madame Dubois loudly announced that the whole class would be given detention if we didn't shut up. At least, I think that's what she said.

My heart hammered loudly in my chest for the rest of the period. My secret was out. I'd been here for a total of, what, 3 days? And already I'd exposed myself. Arden was nice, sure, but I barely knew her, and I sure as hell don't trust people I barely know.

When the obnoxiously loud bell signaled the end of the period, I was up and out the door with the rest of the students, being carried out by the wave of teenagers and leaving Arden behind.

\\//\\//

Lunch rolled around quickly and the next thing I new I was standing at the entrance to the cafeteria, gazing around helplessly at all the unfamiliar faces. This was way too much like Mean Girls for my liking; I could picture the teens breaking into an animalistic fight any second.

Someone nudged my back gently, and I spun around clumsily, coming face-to-face with none other than Axel. My eyes slid to the left and took in the familiar girl standing next to him, who I recognized instantly as his girlfriend. I'm ashamed to say my eyes also slid down and took in their entwined hands. Wonderful.

"Hey, man," Axel said gruffly. His voice, oh my god.

Focus, Sam.

"Yeah, hey guys."

"Do you need somewhere to sit?" Axel asked casually, and I couldn't help noticing the genuine surprise that surfaced in his girlfriend's eyes as he voiced the question.

Before I could answer, a high pixie-like voice cut in. "No, he doesn't."

"Arden, what a pleasant surprise," Axel drawled, and I swung my eyes down to meet my friend's gaze.

There was nothing but kindness in her eyes, and if I weren't so consumed by my own fear, I would've offered a smile back. But all I could think about was my father, and what he would say if he found out. God, we already didn't have the best relationship, but I don't think I could handle him actually hating me. Looking at Arden, all I could see was the inevitability of being discovered.

"Always a pleasure, Axel, but Sam's sitting with me today," Arden announced, entwining her arm with mine.

It didn't feel romantic, but I noticed with grim interest that Axel's eyes narrowed at the action. Well shit, maybe he still had feelings for Arden.

I barely had time to nod casually at Axel before I was being tugged away by Arden, and towards a table in the far corner. Before we got there, though, she paused, and I glanced down worriedly.

"Look, I'm going to keep this quick, but I just wanted to say that it's fine. I won't tell anyone, I promise. Just, please, don't push me away. I really like being your friend," she looked so vulnerable as she made her confession, and I suddenly felt a little bit safer. Maybe I could trust her, after all.

I simply nodded and offered a small smile, to which she responded with a beaming grin and dragged me over to her friends.

"Hey assholes," she announced, "This is Sam. Sam, these are the assholes."

I took in the three people sitting at the table, who were all gazing up at me with friendly curiosity.

There was only one guy and two girls, and Arden shoved me to sit down beside one of the girls, while she slid into the seat at the head of the table.

"I like your hair," I commented casually to the girl next to me, cringing at how gay I sounded but also admiring her light silver curls.

The girl grinned, exposing a row of glowing white teeth, "Thanks! I dyed it yesterday!"

"It's gonna fade to a disgusting steel colour in, like, a week," the other girl commented harshly, but when I snapped my gaze to meet hers, I noticed her teasing smile.

"Shut up, Mya, jeez," the first girl laughed, throwing a fry in Mya's direction before turning back to face me. "I'm Tiff, by the way. That bitch over there is Mya, and this is Wren."

Wren nodded at me, offering an easygoing smile as he chewed on a piece of gum, while Mya grinned and winked playfully at me.

"Don't mind Mya," Arden chimed, finally looking up from the pile of fries in front of her, "she's just kidding. There's a no-hook-up policy in this friendship group. Right, Mya?"

Mya ruffled her dark brown hair with one hand, rolling her eyes and leaning back in her chair. "Yeah, yeah, I know. If there wasn't, don't you think I would've tapped this ages ago?" She poked Wren's side jokingly, who responded by flipping her off.

I assessed Wren, who was yet to actually speak, and decided that Mya probably wasn't joking. I mean, he was a pretty good-looking guy, with shaggy blonde hair and light blue eyes. He screamed straight, so I relaxed and focused on blending with the group.

I needed to make the most of my time in Oak Hill. As I sat there, listening to Mya, Tiff, Arden and Wren bicker, I vowed to leave LA behind and concentrate on where I was now. I just needed to stay in the closet, and everything would be fine. In order to do that, I needed to avoid any... temptations. I needed to avoid Axel.