Chapter twelve

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Okay so first of all I want to apologise for taking so long to put this chapter up! I went out on a three day bender and got completely drunk on all of these occasions, took four days to recover and then had to go out for my friends  18th resulting in me losing my voice, so a note of caution for anyone who hasn’t done this, don’t! It will kill you! And on top of that my parents went on holiday for the week resulting my best friend moving in so I haven’t been able to get on the laptop to shift through my thoughts and put them down into this chapter! But here it is and I hope you enjoy it! Today’s song is Ellie Golding – Burn, just because I am in love with this song!

Staring at his grave I try and remember how he made me feel safe, untouched from the evil in this world and how just from the embrace of his arms I felt as if nothing could ever hurt me because with him wrapped around me I knew he would do anything to protect me; because he loved me. I had met Daniel back in High school he had been a transfer from Michigan and instantly he became a part of our group, we were together through most of high school and everyone would use to say we were inseparable and that was because we were. We spent so much time together that it annoyed my mom, she would always say that we needed to adapt on our own at the time I never really understood what she meant, not until that night I received news that changed my whole outlook on life, love and beliefs. Daniel had been involved in a drink driving accident on the way to pick me up for our five year anniversary; we were meant to be going to the restaurant where he took me on our first date. To say that what happened wasn’t a huge chapter in my life was a lie, it broke me yet developed me into the person I am today Daniel was the one who told me to never back down and to never stand by and do nothing.

I hadn’t been here since his funeral to many unwanted memories and as time passed by and I learned to adapt on my own I just couldn’t bring myself to come, but sitting here on his grave fresh new flowers from his parents I felt as if a part of me was back, like just being here was healing me. “I’m sorry.” I run my hands over the cold marble surface of his grave stone as tears stream more heavily down my face I had never realised how much I had missed him, I thought I had gotten through it; it had taken two years but I felt as if I had closed that chapter but only now did I realise I hadn’t closed it I had just blocked it out, it was why I hadn’t dated I realised and if it wasn’t for Daniel I think I would be in love with Jack but that was just it I couldn’t love anyone again, the accident had changed that for me because the pain of losing someone you love so deeply was unbearable and I couldn’t go through that again. Standing I wipe the gravel off of my skirt.

“I’ll be back.” I whisper to him even though he most probably couldn’t hear me, I would like to think he could though.  I stand to walk to the closets shop to get some flowers it had been nearly five years since his funeral and I felt disgusted with myself that I hadn’t been and laid flowers since that day. Wiping my tears away I enter the shop, my phone beginning to buzz in my coat pocket – Jack. Hitting ignore I pick up some red roses and head to the counter, looking behind the cashier I think fuck it and ask for a bottle of vodka to go with the flowers and after paying I head back to the cemetery.

My phone buzzing again halts me in my tracts this time it wasn’t Jack but Kirk though I would put money on it that the voicemail was however from Jack, I felt bad for ignoring Kirks call but I didn’t want to speak to anyone I was shut off from the world and all that mattered at the moment was me. Sitting back down at Daniels grave I place the roses into a vase and spread them out, leaning back and appreciating them I smile and think about all the times he had brought me roses and how he treated me like a princess, a single tear rolls down my cheek; wiping it away I pull out the bottle of vodka and take a chug coughing at the harsh taste as it washes down my throat.

“I guess you would never have thought I would be sat downing my sorrows at your grave, aye? “ I shake my head feeling weird and embarrassed that I was talking to a block of marble. Sighing I lean against it and as my phone rings again I turn it off completely and chug even more vodka this time the drink went down a little bit more easily. “How did I get here Dan? You know five years ago I had my whole life set out before me. I was going to go to college with you, get married maybe have kids work as an editor from home maybe I would have written a book ….. But when you … when you left my whole life shattered I had no plan, no structure and now? Now I have no meaning.” I down more drink as freshly drawn tears tumble down my face sniffling I ignore the sky that was beginning to turn a light pink indicating evening.

“You remember that time you took me for a picnic?” I laugh at the memory and add more drink as a ache in my heart pangs. “It was so beautiful, little butterfly lights hung above our tree, my favourite foods laid out and only … only if it hadn’t started raining it would have been perfect, it was perfect. Dancing with you in the rain, you holding me close as you hum my favourite song in my ear making me laugh uncontrollably. The way your sweet green eyes looked into mine as you went into kiss me.” I close my eyes as the loneliness grows and drink more, the sky was becoming darker, the air was becoming colder wrapping my coat tighter around me I feel my head swim with dizziness and as I look down into the bottle I see I had drunk more than half.

I lay down to soothe the party going on up in my head and pretend that there is no gravel, no coffin in between us and that I was lying on his chest like old times sake, his warmth radiating on to my cheek as his hands entwine in my hair making me tired, I yawn. Closing my eyes I picture how his stomach would rise in time to mine and how he smelt of old spice, my favourite smell in the world and let’s not forget the feel of his strong arms holding me as I slowly fall into a slumber of blissfully perfect sleep ……

Jacks p.o.v

“What do you mean she quit?” I raise my hands into defence to this jerk that was supposedly called Kirk; he was beginning to piss me off.

“She quit after I told her I was demoting her, what don’t you understand little boy? Would you like a dictionary?” I sit at my desk and shuffle through my papers I didn’t see what his deal was.

“Let me tell you this she’s missing so understand this I need to know everything that happened today.” I could feel my heart leap into my throat in that second, she was missing? I swallow and let my guard down for just a second, was this my fault? I shake the thoughts out of my head I had just thought she was ignoring my phone calls because she was pissed at me.

“What do you mean she’s missing?”

“What don’t you understand little boy, she’s missing.” I ball my fists at his imitating me and let it go because more important things were at stake like finding Jane and as much as I would like to deck this guy we needed to work together.

“Who’s missing?” Great, just what I need, Chloe saunters in the monster that had created this mess in the first place, I grit my teeth.

“Jane’s missing Chloe.” Her mouth opens in fake shock as she walks over to me.

“Oh no that’s horrible.” I ignore her; everything that was coming out of her mouth was utter lies as usual.

“I need to know what happened here today.” Kirk says full force again beginning to get agitated, I could understand why the police wouldn’t get involved and he wasn’t getting anywhere fast.

“I’ll tell you in the taxi.” I say picking up my blazer that was neatly folded over the back of my leather office chair, Chloe’s hand on my arm stops me.

“Darling Jane is no longer our priority she is no longer an employee, of course we will tell you everything you need to know.” She looks at Kirk and his teeth grinds; good at least I’m not the only one that gets wound up by this woman.  Snatching my arm away I put on my blazer and pick up my phone.

“That may be true but I want to help, come on lets go.” We leave the room and as I close it on my screaming wife all I can think is what have I done?

A/N Hope you all enjoyed it and especially getting a preview of Jack's point of view. So their past's are starting to be reveal anyone have any idea about Jacks? 

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