Chapter 13

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I walk into the classroom and in big bold letters on the whitboard it says forgiveness. I sit down and Matthews gets straight to the point. "All through history countries go into war, that's usually what we study here. Today will be talking about peace and forgiveness and how we get there. Every once in a while I come up with a good idea." He says.

"What makes it something I haven't already thought of?" Farkle asks. "Farkle, I forgive you." Matthews says. "What'd I do?" He asks. "I forgive you too." Zay buds in. "What'd I do?!" He asks. "You know what you do." He says with Lucas nodding in agreement. "I feel better now that I've forgiven you. How do you feel?" Matthews asks him. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to upset you now what'd I do?" He says quickly.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the first day of the Forgiveness project. Take out a piece of paper." He says. I take out a note card. "You have unlimited characters that will have an impact of more than 6 seconds. I guarantee you will see difference. Now pick up a pen, express feeling, this is the most important thing your ever gonna do. Your about to forgive someone." He says. "What's this gotta do with History Matthews?" I ask. "It gives you the chance to change it." He says. "Like when I forgave Auggie for biting the face off of beary the bear bear." Riley says. "No that doesn't count." He says. "Why not?"

"Because you never got over it." She pulls out a bear without a face. "This is the first thing I see everyday!" She says. I giggle. She's such an innocent creature. "Change your history. Is there anyone you want to forgive? Go." He says. Everyone starts writing. I look at my red envelope and note card. "Spencer, don't you have someone you want to forgive?" Matthews asks. "Nope." I ask.

"Spencer-" I don't let Lucas finish. "I said no." I say sternly. "Spencer, may I speak to you in private?" Matthews asks. I take a breath and follow him outside. I sit on the bench. He walks over and sits next to me. "Riley told me about your father and I'm sorry. But I feel strongly, if you invite him over and forgive him, he will see what he missed out and he will feel sorry till the day he dies." He says. I smile and look down shaking my head. "What if he doesn't come up?" I ask. "Then he will still feel sorry knowing you forgave him." He says.

"Trust me when I say this, he's an idiot for skipping out for your life." He says. I chuckle and look away. "I will strongly think about it." I say. He smiles. I hug him and he hugs me back. "Thanks." I say. "No problem." He answers. I stand and walk inside. Everyone looks at me. I nod and sit at my seat writing.

***

I sit at Topanga's. Just yesterday we were assigned this Project and I sent the letter to my dad. I don't know if he got it or not. I sit at the counter and eat cheesecake. My mom surprised me to come here for lunch break. Shes eating a sandwich on the other side of the counter. She looks at the doorway like she sees a ghost.

"Hun, can I see your cake?" I shrug and give it to her. She takes it and shoves it in a man's face. "What are you doing?" Topanga asks. She was free today so she came by. I see the man wipe cake from his face. I notice who it is. I look to see Maya and Riley at the small bay window. I slowly stand up ans walk to him. "Hi Spencer." He says. I gulp at hearing his voice. "Hi dad." I say.

Maya and Riley walk to my sides. "Hi I'm Maya."
"And I'm Riley." They say. "Your close friends to Spencer?" He asks. They scoff. "For your information we are her best friends." Maya says. "Good. She was running low on friends." He says. "Jason what are you doing here?" My mom asks. "I was invited." He says holding my letter. I feel my heart skip a beat. I see my mom look at me. I shrug and look at her. "Matthews made me." I say.

***

My father cleaned up and came out to talk. "So, you left...why we're we both good enough?" I ask. "I'm sorry but I have to go." My mom says leaving. "I was 17, like I was ready to have a child? I moved to New Orleans and disappeared your mom called saying you were gonna be in Texas. I flew my kids in and we left." He shrugs. "So you just moved on and settled for better?" I ask. "It was better for my life-"

"Well what about mine?!" I interrupt him. "My childhood I missed you, I wanted you there, now I just wish you could tell me why my life was nothing to you." I say. "You disgusting man whore pig who I hope gets what coming at him-"

The pain was sharp, like a blade, but there was no blood. It burned like fire but there was no burn. I froze like ice but I didn't turn into an icicle. I fall to the ground from impact. He just slapped me. Well that's gonna bruise. I look up to see Lucas and Topanga holding him back. Farkle and Riley help me up.

"Your father was wrong Riles. My history with my father will never change and forgiveness is a load of crap. Brothers chew off bears' faces, friends ruin movies, fathers turn into jerks who should rot in hell." I say. I see everyone looking at me. I shake my head at my father. "I hope your children are very happy." I say and walk out.

***

I sit in Rileys Bay Window. I see Topanga walk in. "Spencer, Riley and Maya are at the mall-"

"No, actually i need a mom." I say. She sits next to me and pats her legs. "Lay down and lets talk." She says. I smile and lay I. Her lap and she messes with my hair. "Am I pretty?" I ask. "Beautiful." She says. "Am I smart?" I ask. "The most intelligent girl I've met." She says. "Why doesn't my father love me?" I ask. She stops for a bit.

"Hes to overwhelmed. See your heart is way to big I can't measure it. His heart is smaler than the crumb mice dont take because its so small." She says. "He is overwhelmed and he pushed himself away." She says. "Like I pushed away everyone when Missy was bothering me.." I say sitting up."You did that so they wouldn't make a big deal but you ended up telling them because you wanted to be a good friend." She says. I nod. "How do I shrink my heart so I don't get hurt so easily?" I ask. She sighs and hugs me. "You can't. Its human nature to get hurt. The ones with the biggest hearts and care the most, usually end up hurting the most. Its a blessing and a curse." She says. I nod and she leaves. I stay there and look out the window, falling asleep to the sight of the streets.

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