Chapter 10

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As we're about to leave Riley stops us. "Spencer, can I talk to you?" She asks. "Yeah sure." I say. She pulls me to the side and I see Farkle get some ribs to go. "When I tell you this you can't tell anyone." She says. I nod, "Yeah of course, Riles." I say. "Maya likes Lucas. She stepped back for me so I'm stepping back for her. I was kinda hoping-"

"I step back as well." I say. She looks at me. "I mean I obviously am a little late to this party, I mean, I see the way you guys look at Lucas. Its just.." I look at everyone. "Its just what?" She asks. "Its just... We have so much in common and and we knew each other when we were young.." I take out the contract. "Now I know. I'm just Lucas' bestest friend." I say reading our chicken scratch for handwriting. "Did you like Lucas like that?" She asks. "No...I don't know...its hard. The way we conversate is very laid back and relaxed." I say. "I felt comfortable with him." I say and sit on a bench. She sits next to me. "Now I do realize that Maya didn't watch Lucas..because she didn't want him getting hurt, and she teases him, and the way she looks at me when we talk.." I say. I look at Riley. "She isn't very fond of me right now is she?" I ask. "She is she just doesn't know how to feel." She says. I look at Maya and Lucas standing next to each other slightly looking at each other. "Its all cleared up for me." I say. "What is?" Riley asks. "I won't date Lucas, he doesn't see me that way nd I shouldnt see him that way either...I'm just his bestest friend who he used to eat popsicles with and run through the woods." I say. We sit there in silence. "Riley, why does it hurt if I'm just his bestest friend?" I ask. She hugs me and I hug her back.

***

We got to the house and Pappy Joe helped us start a fire. I look at the stars trying not to look at Lucas, or Maya, or Riley. I just look at the stars. Until I notice Vanessa was here. "There's nothing I can do to take you away from your friends." She says. He looks at us. "Honesty. No. There's nothing you can do." He says. "What if I buy you ice cream?" She asks. "Zay, I think we should break up." I say. "Let the girl buy you ice cream." I say. He smiles and stands up and leaves with Vanessa. Lucas, Maya, Riley, Farkle, and I all sit in the half circle we were in. "Farkle, can I buy you ice cream?" Riley asks. "Yea sure." Farkle says and they get up. "Riles, what are you doing?" Maya asks. Riley moves to Lucas. "Spencer and Maya like you." She says. "Riley what are you doing?!" Maya and I say at the same time. "You stood back for me. Now I stand back for you." Riley tells Maya. She moves to me. "You hide all your emotions and your feelings. I didn't notice you liked him until you told me." She says. "Show your feelings more and maybe this wouldnt have happen." She says. Riley an Farkle both leave. We sit in 20 seconds of silence. "I'm sorry I shouldnt be here." I say and run the opposite way into the woods.

Third person POV

"I'm sorry I shouldn't be here." Spencer says running into the nothingness of woods. "Spencer!" Lucas calls. "Wait here, if she goes to far a snake will get her." He says. "I completely understand." She nods. "I'll just be here, by the fire." She says. Lucas nods. "I will be really quick." He says and runs into the nothingness leaving Maya.

"Spencer!" Lucas calls. "Spence!" He run through the woods. Until he sees a little fort. He jogs over to investigate. He slowly walks up to see Spencer sitting staring at the wall. "Spencer.." he says.

Spencer POV

"Spencer..."

I look over to see Lucas under the moon light. I scoot over and turn the nob for the lantern to turn on. He crawls in and sits next to me. "Why did you run away?" He asks. "Because it felt awkward." I say shrugging. "Spencer...why did you run away?" She says clearer. I look down. "Its what I'm best at. I ran away when we were gonna leave for Houston, I ran away when my dad sent a letter saying he would see me in 20 years, I mentally ran away and pushed you guys away when Missy was a problem, and I ran away when a girl that's been with you way longer than I ever had likes you and you like her back." I say not looking at him. He tries to make me look but I look away. "Lucas please don't." I whisper. "Why not?" He asks. "If I look at you I will just end up liking you even more cause I know you gonna give a little speech saying how I shouldnt run away, and how I'm your bestest friend-"
"Spencer stop-"
"Thats all I will be is a bestest friend."
"-Spence-"
"We made a contract, you gave me a hat and a bracelet. We promised we'd stay best friends."

"Spencer stop!" He moved himself infront of me on top of my body holding my face. I feel my heart speed up and I just look him in the eyes. His breath brushes off my skin, his pulse in his wrist beats so fast I can feel it on my cheek. He backs up and sits on the other side of the fort and looks at me. I look down. "Why did you do that?" I ask looking down. "You weren't listening to me." He says. I shake my head. "You need to be with Maya, she's pretty, funny, outgoing...she's a lot of things." He looks at me. "Do you like me?" He asks. I look at the ground. "No. I don't. Maya does and you like her so just go." I say. He doesn't move. "Lucas it wouldn't work. If we were to date it'd probably be a disaster." I say. He doesn't move. "It'd be better for both of us if you just date Maya-"

I'm stopped. A force stronger than anything. A feeling I thought I'd never feel. Its pain makes me feel like a cloud. Its bitter coldness makes me feel warm. Its love makes me feel hatred towards myself. I close my eyes as Lucas' lips were attached to mine. His right hand holding my face the other on my waist. It was sudden. I couldnt think. I couldn't say. I couldn't hear. I just felt Lucas' lips on mine.

He pulls away slowly and keeps his hand on my face and moves his hand on my waist to his side. "Im sorry. I just had to." He says close to my face. "Why?" I whisper. "So I could feel your love before you tell me to move on." He says. I shake my head. "Move on." I whisper to him. He looks down and crawl out. I feel this ache in ny chest, head, body. I start to cry. I see Riley crawl in out of nowhere. "Is this what heartbreak feels like?" I let out. She hugs me and I hug her back crying into her shoulder.

Lucas POV

I walk a few steps away and hear her crying. I hesitate to leave but I hear footsteps. I hide behind a tree. Its Riley she walks in. "Is this what heartbreak feels like?" I hear her say. I hear crying I am about to walk to Maya until I hear Spencer an Riley.

"I don't want to love anymore." Spencer says. "You cant do that." Riley says. I look through a crack. "I shouldve stayed to myself. Not tryout for lacrosse, sit with you at much, pull yall into Missy business." She shakes her head. "Spencer we love you. We would do anything for you. Youd do anything for us. You gave up Lucas for Maya. We know we can trust you, we respect you, we love you." Riley says. I pull myself away. "I guess, I will get over it." She says. I walk back to Maya. She sits there waiting for me.

Spencer POV

We walked back and I walked into my room. Nobody knows about the kiss, nobody will ever knw about the kiss, and I will find someone else.

I fall on my bed. Who am I kidding? I cuddle with a pillow and fall asleep.

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