First Love

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Stacey POV

"Come in Stacey dear!" Joe's mother welcomed me in her home cheerfully. I stepped inside giving her a quick hug.

"Is Joe awake?" I asked as I followed her to the kitchen.

"You know how that boy is. I had to practically drag him out of bed so he could be ready before you got here," shaking her head. I couldn't help but smile in return as I already knew the drill.

The smell of freshly made breakfast hit my nostrils making my mouth water and my stomach grumbled in neglect. "It smells really delicious in here Patricia," I complimented her as I helped myself to a plate.

"Thank you sweetheart," she replied as she cautiously watched me fill my plate. I tried to ignore her stare as I focused on the heavenly food in front of me. She seemed to know something was up with me and Joe for a while but she never seemed to say anything. I just hoped that she didn't suspect a thing.

"You okay hun?" She asked giving me the concerned look she always gave when she knew something was up. She was like a second mother to me considering that my mother and her had been best friends since high school. She had been around my whole life and practically knew everything about me.

Or so she thinks.

"Yeah I'm fine Pat," I responded giving her a warm smile to reassure her. I could tell that she didn't buy it by the look of worry she wore on her face. She seemed to be skeptic of whether or not I was telling the truth.

Deciding not risking her asking me anymore questions, I grabbed the plate of food and adjusting the straps of my backpack before excusing myself, "I'm gonna go wait for Joe upstairs."

"Oh alright. If you need me you know were to find me," she spoke one last time before I left the kitchen in a hurry after mumbling a quick thank you.

I can't keep doing this.

I hurriedly made my way upstairs not wanting to give her a chance to ask me what was really wrong with me.

Making my way into his room, I quickly locked the door and dropped my backpack to the ground. I plopped down on his bed just as he came out of his bathroom fresh out of the shower.

His towel hung tightly around his waist as I watched him used another towel to dry off his growing hair. Lust glazed over my eyes as I watched the man I love be oblivious to me admiring his amazing wet physique.

"Is that plate for me," he asked taking me out of my trance.

Not even waiting for me to answer, he stood in front of me as I sat on the edge of the bed careful of his every move. He bent down to my level placing his hands beside. Droplets of water from his hair fell upon my bare thighs causing goosebumps and I was thankful I wore a skirt today.

"How are you feeling today," He asked me intently as his eyes drifted to the food beside me and picked at the fruit.

"I'm still a bit off but I'm much better," I responded softly to which he only nodded.

I watched as the grape passed his delicious lips and involuntarily clenched my legs tighter together. He grasped my hips in his strong hands lifting me to my feet and I stood in front of him placing my hands on his bare chest.

I snuggled my face into his warm neck as he placed the rest of his arms around me embracing me in a tight hug. To me his arms felt like heaven. Full of strength.

But often felt they were too far away.

I had always tried so hard to be everything he ever wanted. I had made lists of any and everything  I thought he could or would need in life. But I felt that no matter how hard I tried, I had failed him every time.

How could I be anything to a man who has no idea what he wants?

"I love you," he murmured on the side of my head as I felt him rub my back gently. I held on to him tighter at his words.

He loves me and that's all that matters. I pulled apart from him  only to capture his lips in a needy kiss. Grasping his hair tightly, I poured my heart into the passionate kiss as though I would never live to see tomorrow. I released myself from his warm lips only to look up at him in desperation.

I love him so much it hurts.

"We will get through this together," he promised me as he wiped the tears that had escaped from the corner of my eyes.

Leaning against his warm touch, I couldn't help but hang on to his every word.

"Make love to me please," I begged him as I whispered to him my voice cracking slightly. I wanted him to devour my soul like I was his favorite desert.

I wanted to be what he craved most in life. Never once growing tired of my taste and always coming back for seconds.

I loved him.

Probably way more than I should have.

But I loved him.

And it was nobody's fault but my own.


I woke up to the loud thunderstorm booming outside of my window.

I turned over in my warm comforter as wiped the tears that came from my dream. I knew that being back would bring painful memories. Holding my pillow tighter I had to realize that he was gone. He wasn't here to make me feel better like he used to. I still sleep on my side of the bed even though we hadn't slept together in years. Leaving the side he would lay in untouched. I could swear that his scent still lingered with me. Taking up space in my head.

And in my heart.

A knock on the door startled me from my depressing thoughts to which I gave permission to enter.

"It's crazy out there," Summer spoke as she entered the dark room and sat in front of me.

"Yeah," I croaked out slightly.

"You okay? You don't look like you've slept well." She asked looking over me concerned.

"It's hard to sleep when you can't stop thinking about someone," I responded giving her a weak smile. Thinking back to the dream, I could never forgive myself for the nights I had let him warm my body without first warming my aching heart.

"I know it must be hard Stacey but you have got to stay strong. Joe will come around," she comforted me.

"He won't even talk to me. I came back for him. For us. I still believe that he loves me and we can have what we once had. What we had was so special. I just love him so much," I whispered tearing up again. I still believed in us. Through all the shit we had been through, it can't be the end.

"I know my brother. You were college sweethearts. I'm sure he will do the right thing," Summer assured me as she rubbed my back.

"I hope so," I spoke as I wiped my tears.

"The family barbecue is in a couple weeks and he will be there. You have the support of the whole family. We are all in your corner. Whatever you need we will provide. You are one of us Stacey, remember that," she spoke confidently.

She was right.

With the help of her family, there was no way I wouldn't get him back.

We belonged together and there is no way I am not getting him back. I was hungry. Hungry for the way things used to be between us. I would rather starve than give into the way things had become.

"I just pray that he hasn't moved on from me yet and it's too late," I stated worriedly as I played with my finger tips.

"But you are different from the rest. You gave him something no other woman can compete with," she reminded me.

"A son," I whispered.

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