Chapter 14

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I Love My B.F.F. (Best Friend’s Father) [Chapter 14]

            “Mr. Anderson.” I said blankly. I didn’t know what to do. I was overcome with the pain and hurt of everything. Nothing makes any sense. I sat there and watched as Mr. Anderson took small steps towards my hospital bed. He sat in the large pink lounge chair that was sitting next to my bed. His hand came to his forehead to wipe the sweat off.

            “Chris. I’m going to explain everything as best I can. It’s not easy. There have been a lot of things in my life, and no one but you is going to ever know this. The only reason I’m letting you know is because…I don’t know…I feel like you’re special to me.” I looked at him and melted as his words melted a portion of the ice shield that had cased my heart for so long.

            He basically said that I am an important part of his life. Nothing meant more to me than those words flying out of his mouth. I let a sigh of relief flow from my mouth and looked into his crystal eyes, the ones that keep my enchanted with every glance, look, and grin. These eyes held so much attention, for they were unusual. They were unique. They were surprisingly the addition to his overall beauty as a person and as a male.

            “This is hard, so don’t hate me okay. I have to take my time on this…I’ve never told his to anyone. When Renée (R*eh*n*ay) and I were married, she knew I was gay.” I gasped. She knew! Why did they get married then? He answered my question a few seconds later “Our parents had set up and arranged marriage. She was gay too, so she understood when I told her. I bet you’re wondering how Jessica came to be. Renée and I fell in love, not on purpose. I found her attractive after we got to know each other. She and O fell deeply in love and I didn’t want to stop it, because I loved her and we were getting married.” His eyes seemed distant as he spoke about the woman he loved.

            I yearn to be in the position of where he would look adoringly at me, but I know that won’t happen. I know that I might never be in the position of his favor, and I feel my heart jump to my throat as I choke on my tears. The pain of these thoughts…it kills me.

            “Chris.”? He took my hands in his and made me look into his eyes to stare at his passion and memories. “You act like Renée. You talk like her, but you look like a man who has a great body. I can’t help but feel things for you, but you’re not her. You aren’t the mother of my daughter. You aren’t the woman I fell in love with.” I looked down.

            “No. I’m not. I’m not, and I can never be, nor do I want to. I don’t want to be someone else. I want to be me. That’s it, but I also want to be the person you come home to. I want to be the person you make love to. I want to be so many things for you…and you keep sending me mixed messages. What is it? What do you feel for me?”

            His hand lifted my face to look him in the eyes. “I like you. I really do, but I’m so confused.” I looked him in the eyes and I leaned up. Our lips touched and I felt myself fall a little deeper in love with him. His hands went to my sides and caressed me so softly, so caringly, and so gently that I actually felt relaxed for that little while longer. I knew, now, that I had to work hard for his affection, but I have to be myself and be someone who can love him.