Bullet

Chapter 20 - Sympathetic Bones

Chapter 20
Sympathetic Bones

The silence that followed my first confession of the day was so nerve wracking. Grayson was just staring at me like I’d suddenly sprouted three heads and I was nervously playing with my fingers in my lap. My eyes darted to his now abandoned sketchbook, wondering if it was maybe too late to be the girl for him that he depicted in those photos.

“I know those pictures look creepy or whatever. It’s not what you think,” he said hurriedly, rushing across the room to pick it up and stick it on his bookshelf between two untouched sports books.

“And what am I thinking?” I quipped.

He gulped nervously and fiddled with more things around his room while he spoke. “It’s not like I watched you all the time. I usually people-watch for inspiration. It helps clear my head sometimes. You just…have a beautiful smile and sometimes I get inspired. I don’t know,” he shook his head and kept averting his gaze from mine.

I blushed bright pink at that. I wanted to say so many things in that moment, all the things I’d spent so long pondering over all by myself. Grayson could answer a lot of questions for me. But I just kept watching him nervously meander around his room and do that nervous quirk of his.

“Grayson…” I whispered.

“It’s not like you’re the only one in that book. I mean…I draw everyone: my mom, sometimes my friends. I had a few of the baseball field but they’re in my old sketchbook. I just like to draw people, they’re more intricate and the detail is a challenge, which I like,” he rambled on, gesturing crazily with his hands.

“Grays,” I tried to interrupt again.

“There’s only two or three pictures of you in there,” he went on. I got up from the bed, making my way towards him across the room. “I honestly don’t mean to draw you. It just…”

I put my hand on his back and he jumped in his spot in front of his desk. “Grayson, stop,” I said.

He slowly turned around so he was facing me, dropping his fiddling and giving me his full attention.

“I love the pictures,” I smiled gently. “They’re beautiful. I’m actually surprised you would even draw me of all people.”

“Really?” he murmured, running a hand down the back of his hair anxiously.

I nodded. His face configured for a moment, his cool coming back slightly as he dropped his nervous hand and took a deep breath. He put both of his hands on my hips, keeping me close to him just like last time. Now it was my turn to take in a breath.

He gulped, his voice coming back breathless. “You need me?”

I nodded again, not sure what to do with my hands. Part of me wanted to run them through his hair and bring him closer so I could have him all to myself. I knew there were still boundaries we needed to discuss and more things that needed to be said before all of that could take place.

“I have to visit Clay today,” I started. “But I need you for more than that. I’ve been keeping up this front like I can do all of this by myself. I spent most of my life protecting Clay and the other people around me that I didn’t take time out for myself. I’m not strong enough right now to deal with this myself. I need you. It took me a long time to realize that…but I really do need you.”

He dropped his head a bit, his hair tickling my cheek. “Callie,” he sighed. “This is probably just coming from the fact that I jumped in front of those bullets that day…”

I cut him off right there. “No,” I protested rather loudly. I pulled back slightly so I could look at him in the eye. “I know that we weren’t brought together under the best of circumstances but I’m positive that my feelings for you are real. Even though you risked your life for me, which I couldn’t be more grateful for, it was you who I fell in love with, not just because you made that decision.”