In Memory of Rain [Kim Taehyung]

One

Taehyung stared at the ground in silence. He caught sight of an ant running across the ground. He watched it scurry around his foot and climb over a twig.

He overreacted. He knew that much. He had an excuse though, right? It was definitely a touchy subject and Yoongi knew that. Even so, he was probably right. The others deserved to know. Taehyung just wasn't ready to say it himself. Maybe he wouldn't ever be able to tell them, so it was probably better that Yoongi did. He just needed time to get that through his head.

Someone sat down next to him. He didn't bother to look up. It was probably just a random stranger again, sitting on a semi-empty bench. He was planning on ignoring the person but they spoke.

"Hey, are you okay?" a soft voice called out. Taehyung looked up, making sure his hood was still covering his face. He wasn't wearing any makeup, so that would definitely help him avoid fans, but he still needed to be careful. Many of them would recognize him even without makeup.

The girl sitting next to him looked familiar. It was her hair. The bright rainbow locks struck a memory, but he didn't remember which one exactly. She had a Japanese mixed with a Korean look. A grey scarf was wrapped around her neck loosely. She wore tight jeans and a white blouse.

"Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?" he answered, a bit too quickly. She laughed.

"You don't seem alright. Needa talk?" she asked, a reassuring smile tugging at her lips.

"There was this girl... I loved her. We were best friends in high school. I confessed, but she told me she hated me. She left for America. I wrote her letters, emails, every day, but I never sent them. I was too scared to. But one day, my friend sent them. He sent them all. Sh-she... She replied." Taehyung hid his face in his hands. A small sob escaped his lips and was muffled by his hands. A warm hand was placed on his back and rubbed comforting circles into his skin.

"You don't have to continue..."

"No, no. I... I want to."

"Alright."

"So, she replied. She said that she... felt the same. But she left me because of my dream. My dream to become an idol. She knew I'd leave it for her if she accepted my feelings."

"An idol? Wow. But what happened? If she responded, didn't that give you a chance to talk things over?"

"She deleted her email account right after sending the email. I never got to reply. Never will."

"I'm sorry... There's nothing I can really say to help, is there?" Taehyung was about to cut her off, not wanting her pity, but then he realized that she was sorry for her inability to do anything, not for him.

"There isn't, but it's fine. I'm... I'm trying to move on."

"Trying?"

"Hasn't been working very well yet."

"I see."

Taehyung looked up and offered the girl his hand.

"Kim Taehyung," he said, a weak smile on his face. The girl gasped, covering her mouth. He cursed, realizing that she could be a fan. Taehyung stood up, ready to leave, but stopped when the girl spoke.

"Min Shirai."

"Shirai? Isn't that a Japanese name?"

"Ah, yes. My mother is Japanese and my father is Korean," she explained. Taehyung nodded.

"You a fan?"

"Yes, I am. I promise I won't tell anyone about what you told me. That would be a horrible move on my part," she quickly told him. Taehyung smiled and sat back down.

"So, Shirai," he started. He liked the sound of her name. It was very beautiful and gentle, just like her.

"Have we ever met before? You seem familiar." Shirai took a deep breath. Her idol thought she seemed familiar. He recognized her after that one time.

"I went to a fansign once in America. Maybe it's from there?" she asked. She tried to keep her voice steady. It was hard to do when you met someone on the streets who just happened to be your bias of a famous band.

"Oh yeah! I remember that! I wrote about your hair, that's why you seemed familiar." His smile dropped. Shirai flinched, realizing that she just brought him back to a bad memory. The writing. Probably for that girl he mentioned.

"Hey, Shirai," he called out after a few moments of silence. "Do you love me as well?"

"I do love you, but as an idol and artist. I don't love you as a person. Not because I think you're a bad person, of course! It's just, I don't actually know you as a human being. I only know the you I see on camera. Does that make sense?" she hurriedly explained. Taehyung laughed and nodded. Shirai looked down at the ground and blushed, feeling embarrassed for no apparent reason. She found it hard to communicate with people the way she wanted to so words often came out quite awkwardly for her.

"Let me walk you home."