✓ | 𝑾𝒐𝒍𝒇'𝒔 𝑩𝒂𝒏𝒆 (R.STARK 1/3)

Chapter Twenty Seven::Mistake

The day seemed dull, more so than days passed had been; this was just grey. Whether it was from the lack of sleep, or just the depressing mood Raina was in, the day was one she would sooner forget. It had been a long night, her brother's had taken her to her bed, but gone back to their father's company to comfort him afterwards, leaving her, alone, to wallow in her grief for the hours to come. She'd felt like she couldn't breathe; her tears had all dried up, leaving her a hollow husk with nothing left to do but stare aimlessly upwards, hoping for something to brighten up. She wanted to someone to come to her and tell her they'd made a mistake, that they'd got it wrong, or that it was meant for a joke, just so it wouldn't be true; yet she went the entire night without anything. No one to tell her that her sister was alright, and home, no one to tell her they'd gotten the information wrong, no one to comfort her while she died inside, nothing. It was dawn now, and Raina had escaped as quickly as possible. She didn't want to eat, the need for food had subsided and instead had been replaced with an ever present sickness that lurked in her mouth throughout the night and into the morning. And the fear of having to talk to people at breakfast, without being able to express her pain or talk about it, was surely going to end her. Instead she chose to go outside, stalk the grounds, desperate for a distraction. She wanted a break from this, the pain, the ongoing torture, she wanted it to end. She'd always said she'd never been fond of her sister, but now it hurt, more than she'd thought possible, to know she'd lost her forever. She'd never apologised for the fights and insults, she'd never thanked her for everything she'd ever done for her; if she'd known before, that their last moments together, their last hug, their last words, would truly be the last, she would have said something more than she had, she would have held her and never let go, she would have memorised everything she could to ensure she'd never lose her, or at least never forget the exact details. She couldn't help but wonder if it were her running away that had caused this, if she'd stuck around,  that maybe her sister would have been safe. But all that did was make her feel worse about her life choices, and regret all the things she'd failed to do with or for her sister in their last days together. 

Raina, out of now intentions, ended up on the river bank, the sun rising beyond dark clouds, and casting mere glimpses of light upon the grass as she just stood by the water, looking at the reflective surface, trying to find some solace in any small thing. But nothing helped. She just stood there, silent and still, mind running faster than ever, over things she wished she could just forget. 

"You're up early," Remarked a voice Raina knew too well, and had hoped not to hear for some time. She'd thought now with his sister back with him, the King would have less time to spend with his favoured squire, giving Raina the space she needed right now, though Robb seemed persistent to be in her company. "Couldn't sleep," She mumbled in reply, keeping her head down, and gaze away from him. Now was not the time for this, for his company, Raina just couldn't handle the confrontation. "I haven't had a chance to ask-" The King spoke softly, Raina now able to determine that he was stood beside her, "Are you alright?" How was she supposed to answer that? Yes, technically, after her interaction with the Boltons, she was alright. There wasn't anything wrong with her last night when she'd gotten back to Riverrun, not before the news. And if Robb had asked her the same question before she'd found out, the answer probably would have been 'yes, I'm alright' but now, now Raina just wanted to say it. No, she wasn't alright. In fact she felt like she was burning up inside, and everything was shutting down. She felt like her skin was slowly being peeled off of her body, and stuck back with nails. It was indescribably painful, not that she would be able to describe it anyway, because as far as the King was concerned, Ray had no reason to be so hurt, or angry, or sad. So then there was the matter of lying again. She wasn't even sure she'd be able to uphold the lie at this time, with everything that had been destroyed in her life, keeping up her charade was the least of her priorities. "I'm fine," She stated bluntly, turning her head slightly away from him, so that he could not see the evident sadness that lurked in her eyes, and on her face. It took too much strength to conceal it, the pain was too overwhelming for her to keep it hidden under a facade, but she still felt the need to keep Robb from seeing that. Not yet anyway.