A/N- If you’re reading this Kitkat number 73 and 75 is for you J
Hehe….long update is long, no?
71.) Give every teacher a suggestive wink. ;) It makes everything dirty ;)
72.) Take your friend’s acoustic guitar and do the ‘windmill’ while shouting “I’M A ROCKSTAR!! LOOK AT ME!!! I’M SOOO FREAKING GOOD!”
73.) Sing the ‘badger song’ in reading class to all your friends. They will pretend not to know you.
74.) Tell everyone on Wattpad that has a story on the ‘What’s Hot’ list that you have hacked their account, and that their mother’s name is a very easy-to-guess password.
75.) Tell your friend you have a super secret to tell them that will change the way they view you forever. Then whisper (or yell right in their ear) “I like cheesecake.”
76.) Give your goldfish a ridiculously long name. Then tell a story about him using no personal pronouns. (Example: Did I tell you guys my goldfish Pederson Ignacio André Rowan Bagpipes loves food? It’s true, Pederson Ignacio André Rowan Bagpipes always swims to the top of the bowl just to eat it. Pederson Ignacio André Rowan Bagpipes is very impatient so Pederson Ignacio André Rowan Bagpipes…..)
77.) Shout at a bee to “LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK!” Much more fun in front of your friends….and everyone else.
78.) Take a friend’s glasses and rub your finger all over the lenses….they will get so mad. (Kitkat, I swear, if you do this to me I will eat your face, roast your eyeballs, pack it with a lunch-box cooler and give it to your parents. If you are not Kitkat, completely ignore this message……./smile and wave) NOTHING SUPSICIOUS GOING ON HERE!
79.) Get a large ‘body bag’ and drag it through the mall screaming “THERE IS NO BODY IN HERE!”
80.) Go around muttering (but loud enough for everyone to hear) “That bright flash of light you did not see did not erase your memories.”
YOU ARE READING
100 Ways to be a 'Douche'
Non-FictionWay number 11.) Leave a note in someone's locker that says 'I killed your Daddy.' Number 12.) Repeat number 11. With this new How-To book you can learn to be hated by everyone you know! (D-Bag Co. is not responsible for any death threats you may rec...
